We've Moved

If anyone is still reading this...we've moved.

I've printed a book of Rose Dose and will be deleting this soon.

Send me an email, and I'll send you the link to the new blog!

Unforseen Hiatus

Rose Dose is taking a break. Sorry, out of my control.

Bastards broke in and stole some things, among which was my computer.

And Bastards, if you're reading this now...you suck!

Kitty Cats in the Highchair

There are two kitty cats in the highchair. They are eating eggs and english muffin. White cat got loose in the leaves this morning...so now we have a black cat with a halloween sweater and a white cat covered in leaves eating the breakfast I slaved over this morning.

Fantastic.

We painted this weekend. The dreaded master bedroom, complete with all of the oil-based trim and fireplace. Adam got up first thing Saturday morning and started working...well, after he watched cartoons with Charlotte. Still...I had to laugh, the first coat of primer didn't go on until 4:00 but the walls were in pristine condition before he started - I mean, they were perfect. When I paint, I do it as quickly as possible = mess and I don't take much pride because it doesn't look that great when I started but Adam had the walls and trim looking so good I didn't want to mess up...and when I splattered a little paint, I cleaned it right up! So, now it's finished and I don't know if I like it or not...don't you hate it when that happens? The color is called 'Cloudy Day' and it feels like I'm in a little boy's room. The real problem, of course, is when you walk from the living room into our bedroom, you almost feel like you're in an entirely different house. I'm hoping once our bedrooom furniture is delivered it will give it the feel we're going for.

I'm proud to report that my tennis score is improving. This, in part, because Adam was too full to play me last night so I got to play against the computer...Adam was stuffing himself with hotdogs because he didn't like my supper I slaved over...something to do wtih my mashed potatoes having the consistency of semi-melted ice cream. I didn't see what the big deal was...use a straw right? Charlotte didn't like my mashed potatoes either. She saw then on her plate and started crying. But she gobbled down her green beans! And then she signed all finished and ran over to her daddy's lap to climb up and eat his beans. I tried to give her mine, but once daddy's home, she doesn't want anything to do with me.

Charlotte holds our hands when we say the blessing at supper! She's been doing it for a couple weeks now and it's so cute.

I am happy to report that Charlotte now has a play room. I have finally organized her closet...yes, it is a big closet especially now that it's picked up and organized and she loves going in there. And I love it because it helps me keep her room a bit neater-looking.

She's really enjoying playing with all her toys! And it's so cute! And I am restraing myself daily from not running out and getting new toys. It's so much fun to see her get excited and she's not old enough to be a brat about it so I don't feel like I'm spoiling her BUT I know that if I do buy her everything I think she would like, she would become spoiled.

Speaking of which, corner is going quite nicely. Adam went from 'nobody puts baby in the corner' to 'if you don't put this bib on, you're going to the corner' because corner works!!! And corner is so empowering! Yes, there are those critics that say I'll cause her to become a claustrophobic adult but, you know, on the off-chance that happens...I'd say a compliant child, understanding boundaries is worth it.

Charlotte has started dragging all Charty-size chairs from all over the house in front of the tv. I mean, even the booster seat. There are 7 chairs watching Little People right now. And kitty cats are on the floor - they were good enough for my breakfast...not good enough for the chairs. Speaking of tv - when was the last time you watched an old Barney episode? HILARIOUS! The $5 dvd's at Target? Barney from 1996? The dance routines and the outfits are a total riot.

Wii Played All Weekend

Charlotte is really starting to push those boundaries ergo she's looking for Adam & me to really set them. So, starting next 'no no' I'm implementing the corner. I'd already gotten the opinion from Noni & Popi and I talked to her pediatrician about it earlier this week and she confirmed...Charlotte Rose Wilson is old enough for the corner. Next time she yanks on Moses' whiskers out of meanness...there will be consequences (if she doesn't straighten up after warning #1 but there will only be 1 warning).

The rest of the appt went well. Charlotte's right on track with everything...she even ran for the doctor - a layman would probably think the run looked a little uncoordinated but luckily there are people that specialize in this. I've been reading to Charlotte all wrong. Lately, I've been letting her pick the story and then we go through it and I "read" it to her in her terms...For instance:

Literal translation of book: The baby duck saw a big, brown, hairy duck and he asked, Are you my mother? And the dog said Bow Wow.

Mommy's translation of book: LOOK Charlotte Rose!!! A duck! Where's the duck? Where's the dog? GOOD! What's dog say? pant, pant, lick...(note to reader: our dogs don't bark, our dogs pant and lick) Look at that silly dog! What do we tell doggies? 'hey dog' and 'no no no' (point and shake head).

It rained last Saturday so we all took a trip to Toys R Us. Charlotte got her first dollhouse and a mommy & baby cat that meow and tickle each other. We picked out the house, she picked out the cat. Adam picked out Nintendo Wii. http://wii.com/ Is it funny to anyone else that Adam and Charlotte go shopping at the same store? We came home and set up the dollhouse and Charlotte started playing with it! Appropriately! Well, until she tried to get her kitten to sit in the doll's chair. But she knew the chair was for sitting! Adam and I are hanging out in her room - 'look! she's doing it! she's playing with the house!' We're nuts.

And then Adam went and played with his new toy. While I, very maturely, sat on the sofa and read. I was completely uninterested in his juvenille game until he pulled up tennis. Holy cow! It is so much fun! Like you're really playing tennis! I mean overhanded serves, volley's, forehands, backhands, spin! SO MUCH FUN! I'm embarrassed to admit this but I was sore on Monday! Can you believe that? Charlotte came running in from her room - thought it was hilarious - she's in there giving the winners high fives, jumping around like she was playing too. Great 21st century family fun. Game night just took on a whole new meaning.

I guess you could say we had an over-indulgent weekend. Charlotte got a sandbox on Sunday. I was tired of her playing in the dirt and in the birdseed in the backyard. Bless her heart, she needs tactile exploration.

Where is the cool weather? It's September and I have to set up a fan outside for Charlotte when she plays. I was so excited, I thought it was coming...I've started 10 projects in the backyard thinking it's about to be cooling off. Wrong. So I had to dig like 10 big holes all by myself in the heat with the gnats. Disgusting. We went to do the river Sunday morning. I actually put a jacket on Charlotte, for heavens sakes...what was I thinking?! And I put on a heavy t-shirt. Which Adam made me pull off halfway through the ride so he wouldn't have to hear me WHINE! Oh the whining...at least Charlotte comes by it honestly.

Charlotte is having a very fun time outside picking all of the flowers off my mums. Luckily, mums are cheap. $5 will buy you about 500 blooms = 20 minutes of Charlotte fully-focused play.

Last night Adam was outside playing with Charlotte and he asked her what a dog says. She panted (just like Eloise, EXACTLY what Eloise says), then a cat, she meowed. A cow, she mooed, a bear, she roared and a lion was a slightly different roar. He asked her what a turtle said, she was silent...EXACTLY! Turtles don't say anything. I didn't even know she knew all that. But we have been reading 'Polar Bear, Polar Bear, what do you see?' She picked it up in the library from the spanish section. So, I can't read the book. I have to make the words up and we make alot of animal sounds while we read. So much for teaching my toddler spanish.

Moses' hair is falling out and I think it's stress. He likes to snuggle up in Charty's blanket basket in her room. She use to just pelt him with stuffed animals but lately she's been running over and squeezing in beside him (really more on top of him) and bless his sweet heart, I have to save him. So there's that. But also, she's found the pot lids. She's started banging them. I'll think she's playing quietly with her crayons on her table, Moses is sleeping sweetly on the kitchen rug when we hear CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG! I scream a little and then I find a clump of Moses hair. Poor boy. I don't know what we'll do when Charty develops the dexterity to dress him up in clothes.

Indigo Photographers

Go here:

http://www.indigophotographers.com/

My brother & sister-in-law have a photography business. The above is the link. The website is great! AND Bob posted the carrot cake recipe I was blogging about earlier. That is here:
http://indigophotographers.wordpress.com/

It's a fun website, though, lots of really good eye candy.

McCain - Palin

I'm going to really blog later - we're about to head out on a run before it gets any hotter. I just had to say:

Well done Sarah!

Labor Day

We had a manual-labor filled Labor Day. Sounds awful right? Literal labor on Labor Day weekend? It actually wasn't so bad. Adam was suppose to have last Friday off. It didn't happen. We were suppose to drive up to his mom's house Friday morning. We didn't get there until 10:00pm. 'Gigi' needed help repairing a fence and gate. We don't get to see Gigi too often, and Charty was so excited to see her.

Everybody got together on Saturday night for dinner: Noni, Popi & the Riggle Family. The initial meet-n-greet didn't run too smoothly. I forgot to put Eloise away in another room before Violet arrived. Violet came running into the house, all excited and spotted Eloise and started screaming, which scared the bejesus out of Eloise (gave that dog a taste of her own medicine) and then Eloise started barking and nipping at Violet's toes, kind of a I'm-gonna-get-you-before-you-get-me thing but I managed to wrangle her away from Violet's toes, no harm done. The confrontation and screaming-barking scared Charlotte, who ran to Popi, arms up, looking for someone to save her.

Dinner was so fun and delicious! We all really enjoyed it. My super-sweet inlaws prepared an impromptu early-birthday party for me and Bob (whom Adam has dubbed 'U.B.' (Uncle Bob)) made the most delicious carrot cake I have ever had in my life. I don't know how many pieces I devoured that night but I ate some for breakfast and lunch the next day too. Poor Violet really wanted Charlotte to play hide-n-seek or dolls or, you know, something with her. Sorry girl, Charty is still completely and totally all-about-Charlotte, "me" centered. Gigi said she can't wait for Charlotte to grow up so that they can play together. Whew. I'm not ready. I'm going to enjoy this moment! Oh, she'll never be this age again!

The next day, I met Noni & Popi and they took Charlotte for the day so that I could help Adam & Gigi tackle that fence. It was actually fun (not nearly as intense as caring for a 20 month old all day, it was a nice break. Yep.)

I checked in with Popi mid-day and they were in no hurry for us to come. Alright. Freedom! They took a field trip to get Charty an armchair like her Popi's so they could sit next to each other and watch cartoons.

Adam & I went to dinner that night too! So, I'd say in all it was a super weekend.

Charlotte has started saying "no" to everything. I'll ask her if she wants to take a bath. 'mmmm no'. Do you want to give Moses a big hug? 'mmmmm no'. Do you want a piece of delicious chocolate candy? 'mmmmm no'. Real sweet and quiet. We'll ask her a yes question, like do you want candy and then we'll say 'yes!' and nod our heads. She'll look at us and try to nod, then gets kind of swirly, gets kind of confused halfway through and shakes her head. I also think she's starting to test boundaries. Uh-oh. Yesterday she kept knocked over the bicycles twice. She also drug Moses around by his whiskers. A couple of little for-instances like that. Right now my mean voice and my mad face work to get her attention but it's coming. Don't think I won't put her in the corner! Yesterday at Dick's Sporting Goods she was a little monster! Cute, but into everything. She would hide in the running shorts and pop out at people and say 'RAR!', claws out, like a bear. Like she was fixin' to get 'em!

I'll admit...it's not uncommon for people to refer to me as a whiner. I don't know - it's just part of my natural temperment I suppose. It has also been explained to me how annoying of a habit it is. Awe shoot...whatever, I know it's actually kind of cute - or so I believed until I spent an entire day with a whining toddler. Furniture shopping was not how Charlotte Rose wanted to spend her Monday. It was high time Adam and I picked out our new bedroom furniture. Adam & I differ on styling and he is much more particular about quality? Not that I want something rickety but he's a stickler for it. I'm talking he doesn't want furniture that's been nailed and glued. He wants english & french dove-tail and wooden tracks and no veneer or soft wood. Which is super (insert sarcasm here). My husband has champagne taste on a beer budget (stealing my MIL's phrase). Is it tacky to mention budget? If so, I apologize. So,we're having a hard time finding anything locally so we decide to drive 90 miles to Thomaston, GA to go to Bostwick's (in-laws recommended).

It's already been a long day, right and we drove an hour and a half and something terrible happened on the way there. It had been raining and we passed a turtle trying to cross the road and we couldn't find a place to turn around and help it cross safely. So, we vowed that with the next turtle, we would. We spotted the turtle, swerved to avoid hitting it ourselves and turned around. We pulled over a little, right in front of the turtle, flashers on. Up over the hill behind us races a sedan. HE HIT THE TURTLE! Right there in front of us, trying to do our good deed, the turtle exploded! That would only happen to Adam & me. Noni has saved probably 1,000 turtles in her life and surely known have ever exploded via impact of passing car as she's making her galant effort.

We were in shock for like 5 minutes and then we were really depressed. Obviously questioning whether we chose the right day to drive to Thomaston. We finally arrived and strapped Charty into her stroller ONLY to find out that the store has 6 floors of furniture and no elevator. So, out of her stroller she comes- zipping around, climbing this, up and down the stairs, slamming doors to china cabinets and everytime we stop her, she throws her head back and whines and whines and on and on we go. I'm about to pull out my hair. Meanwhile, Adam's browsing the furniture, don't like that, or that, or that...

Why Adam?

I don't know, I just don't.

Okay, good, so you are going to make this easy. Super.

And then finally we find it. Miraculously, Adam & I both love the styling and the quality is top-notch. Only the entire suite is covered in red "SOLD" tags and we don't know the price. My patience is gone. I find a salesman and ask him for the price of the suite. He leaves, Adam & Charlotte climb onto the bed, Charlotte starts jumping and Adam starts tickling her (it's either this or listen to the whine, the I-want-to-go-go-go-now-now-now! He comes back. The price is a good 40% higher than we budgeted. I tell him, well this is the furniture we like and you're going to have to make it work for THIS price, make this happens and I'll write you a check. And he says okay! And nothing like this has ever happened to me before! And I'm still so proud of myself. And Adam was proud of me too.

But I have a confession: it was the day of constant whining that drove me to that brazen act of bravado! If I had been my normal, relaxed, sweet self I never would have made that deal...so see, whining does sometimes pay. Whining and assertion...my new mantra.

Adam wrote the check, I took Charlotte out for a stroll in downtown Thomaston and who should appear but her Popi! Appeared right out of nowhere! He had Jakob and was headed to the Flint river and saw us so he pulled over. Oh, Charlotte got so excited and so tickled. She ran to her Popi, big hug and then got to see Jakob. It was all fun until it was time for the boys to go. Then, she was heartbroken. Started crying huge alligator tears. Popi was heartbroken too...so he bought her a boat. You think I'm kidding? You don't know my dad. He saw a boat for sale, figured it to be a sign from above; he hasn't had a boat in a couple of years and with his girls he instills a love of the water. So, next summer, Charlotte can go tubing.

I guess it will be up to Adam & me to get the lake house. Oh, dear.

Grover's Patriotism

We have a bit of a problem.

Last night, we were glued to the Democratic Convention - waiting to hear Obama's acceptance speech. When it finally came on, Charty was still up (Adam was really late getting home last night). She plops down in her armchair with Grover to watch Obama. Finally, Obama comes on stage. I was disappointed, I totally thought he'd parachute in or something, I mean, there's all this hype about him...Grover starts clapping away! Can't hardly control how excited he is. Then Charlotte drops Grover and starts clapping herself! Adam and I look at each other.

Uh-oh. Charlotte's a democrat? Really? Come on Charlotte! It was the same old same old, blah blah blah nothing substantive about what he will do or what he's done. But I like him, he's so nice and he has precious kids and his wife looked really cute last night, didn't she? But, the speech left me feeling...nothing? I mean Grover liked it but he's doesn't have a brain. (oh, Grant, I'm sorry...)

There's all this hype and he is such a great speaker and what a great story he has, I mean he's 47 and has written 2 memoirs and had an over-acheiving, absent father (makes for in interesting impact on a son's psyche), but he shouldn't be president. Obama is so optimistic and hopeful but how in the world is he going to implement all these lofty ideas? He's going to give a tax break to 95% of working families? What working families? Who qualifies? Do we qualify?! He's going to eliminate our dependence on foreign oil in 10 years? What?!?!? How?!?!?! Oh, with the renewable energy that he is going to invest $150 billion in....

With whose money? If I don't qualify for that tax break he's telling me about, my family will be paying? He's going to repay the defecit, get us out of Iraq (he'll talk us out), provide gov't-controlled health care to all (I'm scared), eliminate our dependence on foreign oil, provide tax breaks to everyone except my family and most of ya'll reading this and fund $150 billion in a pilot-mission? But here it is, this is what put me over: "I've got news for you John McCain, we all put our country first." NOTHING Obama has ever done can compare to John McCain's sacrifice.

It just kind of felt silly, a little naive, but it was a great show...but I think that's all it is...

The fireworks were nice. The music was dramatic. Maybe that's what Charlotte liked.

August, BF'ing Rant, Coco?

How can you be anything but happy on a beautiful day like today? Is it beautiful there? It is simply amazing outside today. I dread August all year because it's usually so hot and muggy, like someone wrapped a hot, wet towel around you whenever you open the door to go outside but this August of the year 2008 has been so nice! Could it have anything to do with carbon and greenhouse gases?!?! If so, buddy, let's go joyriding! No, wait...Hurricane Katrina was in August and it was related to climate changes. We'll just be lucky and thankful for this reprieve.
(actually, it rained cats & dogs earlier in the week, which is when this photo was snapped. we got home from the library, I pulled her out of the car and she immediately ran out into the rain...she loves it)


It's going to the playground weather again. I should take Charlotte. I'm trying out a new nickname for Charlotte, 'Coco'. I was looking through my notebook of when I was pregnant and all the notes I took on names. I actually researched and researched and RESEARCHED names, trying to pick the best one for our daughter. On one page of notes I noticed I made a list of possible nicknames for Charlotte. One of which was 'Coco' and I forgot about it until this morning. I'm going to give it a shot this week. I shouldn't say that - Adam has been calling her 'Coco-Ro' forever but I've just kind of tuned it out, I guess.

We found a new pediatrician. She concurs with pathologist diagnosis: Interstitial Granuloma Annulare. No cure, treat the symptoms, go see pediatric dermatologist at Emory. We liked her, we liked the office. I'm switching pediatricians. Primarilly because the pediatrician we were seeing sent me some red flags. (1) She had no idea what Charlotte's rash was; (2) Could not get me into see the dermatologist here in Columbus; (3) Lectured me for 20 minutes a week ago about weaning Charlotte.

Let me clarify some of the main reasons I am continuing to nurse Charlotte:

"Parents and health professionals need to recognize that the benefits of breastfeeding (nutritional, immunological, cognitive, emotional) continue as long as breastfeeding itself does, and that there never comes a point when you can replace breast milk with infant formula, cows' milk or any other food, or breastfeeding with a pacifier or teddy bear, without some costs to the child."
-- KA Dettwyler, "Beauty and the Breast" from Breastfeeding: Biocultural Perspectives, 1995, p. 204.

In the second year (12-23 months), 448 mL of breastmilk provides:

• 29% of energy requirements


• 43% of protein requirements


• 36% of calcium requirements


• 75% of vitamin A requirements


• 76% of folate requirements


• 94% of vitamin B12 requirements


• 60% of vitamin C requirements
  

--Dewey 2001

The American Academy of Family Physicians notes that children weaned before two years of age are at increased risk of illness (AAFP 2001).

Nursing toddlers between the ages of 16 and 30 months have been found to have fewer illnesses and illnesses of shorter duration than their non-nursing peers (Gulick 1986).

Extensive research on the relationship between cognitive achievement (IQ scores, grades in school) and breastfeeding has shown the greatest gains for those children breastfed the longest.

"Meeting a child's dependency needs is the key to helping that child achieve independence. And children outgrow these needs according to their own unique timetable."

Children who achieve independence at their own pace are more secure in that independence then children forced into independence prematurely.

A US Surgeon General has stated that it is a lucky baby who continues to nurse until age two. (Novello 1990)

The World Health Organization emphasizes the importance of nursing up to two years of age or beyond (WHO 1992, WHO 2002).

• Breastfeeding reduces the risk of breast cancer (References).


• Studies have found a significant inverse association between duration of lactation and breast cancer risk.


• Breastfeeding reduces the risk of ovarian cancer (References).


• Breastfeeding reduces the risk of uterine cancer (References).


• Breastfeeding reduces the risk of endometrial cancer (References).


• Breastfeeding protects against osteoporosis.
  

The most fascinating studies show that the longer and more frequently a mom nurses her baby, the smarter her child is likely to become. The brain grows more during the first two years of life than any other time, nearly tripling in size from birth to two years of age. It's clearly a crucial time for brain development, and the intellectual advantage breastfed babies enjoy is attributed to the "smart fats" unique to mom's breast milk (namely, omega-3 fatty acid, also known as DHA). From head to toe, babies who breastfeed for extended periods of time are healthier overall. --Sears 2008

(see http://www.kellymom.com/)

But really, the main reason I'm continuing to nurse Charlotte is because it works for us. I think that every mother should follow her own instincts with regards to something as special as how she chooses to feed her baby. I'm an advocate of breastfeeding my baby because it worked so well for me but that's not to say that it works like that for everyone. I do not, nor will I ever, pass judgement on a mother that chooses not to nurse. I say, follow your instincts and do what's right for you. What all babies need most is a happy, well-rested, secure mommy. But I am happy to share my experience! easy as it has been...

I still say the bottle intimidates me and seems so much harder.

Speaking of which, Coco loves to feed her baby dolls bottles. She saw a bottle at the house, we washed it for her and gave it to her and she gets a kick out of carrying it around and drinking water out of it...just like her babies. She's never seen another baby nurse...she saw some piglets nursing their mommy on National Geographic last night...made me feel weird...

We were at Pottery Barn Kids last week and she found a dolly stroller with a dolly in it. Coco pushed it all around the store until we got to the Big Boy rooms and she saw some stuffed doggies. She threw that baby on the floor and plopped that jack russell terrier dog in there instead.

Coco has finally grasped 'first-and-then'. Hooray! Now I can say with success, first eat potatoes, then you can have ice and it works. I can say, first sit in the shopping car, then you can have ball. And then I add something else. If you stand up in cart, then ball is finished. It is working beautifully! Ah, the loveliness of reason.

Noni calls and Charlotte talks on the phone. It will ring and she'll say, heyo? But it has to ring first. If you just hand her the phone with Noni on it, she just listens. Noni got tired of just talking on the phone so she & Popi drove down. Coco was so excited to see them when she woke up from her nap. Gone are the days she wouldn't play with Popi! She is all about Popi now. She completely monopolized her grandparents, wouldn't have a thing to do with mommy and Adam and I got to go to the grocery store...alone! I never could have imagined there'd come a day where going grocery shopping was considered an 'event'.

Charlotte can do her puzzles. AND shape sorter, eventhough for most shapes she just takes off the lid and sticks it in. That counts though, right?

Coco sounds ridiculous. I don't think it's a good nickname.

GAIT, again

Friday morning Charlotte's original diagnosis by the first dermatologist we saw was reaffirmed and expanded on.

Interstitial Granuloma Annulare

Which is different from Granuloma Annulare in that it is all over the body (not just in circles) and is really REALLY itchy. Doc told us that she has patients with it that are just miserable. It's rare and there is no cure. They don't know what causes it and they can't cure it. They don't know that much about it. She doesn't want to put Charlotte on steroids. Because, obviously, the steroids will treat it temporarily but once she's off the steroids it will come right back and it's dangerous to put a child on strong steroids because it causes the child's own production of steroids to decrease or stop. Charlotte could stop growing! Her hair could fall out, cause cognitive delays...

She recommended a pediatrician in Columbus that we're going to see on Tuesday (Charty also has to get her stitches out).

Charlotte was really upset in the doctor's office. I brought a bag full of new toys for her to pull out and play with and that helped (thanks for rec, Amber). The dermatologist also looked like Addison Shepherd (Grey's Anatomy) so I think that helped...Adam...too... (wink) She was really sweet and really smart. She asked about Charty's experience with the biopsy and was appalled, as was I, to learn that they didn't apply a numbing cream before the biopsy, I knew nothing about numbing cream until the new doctor told me about it. I was ticked off. She said the shots they give to numb the area really sting. Oh it makes me so mad! I'm going to insist upon the numbing cream from now on, when she gets vaccines or anything. I've been practicing in the mirror - No, I INSIST you apply numbing cream. I am the mother and I INSIST.

We went to Birmingham after the appointments. We saw some old friends and new babies and it was so much fun. We miss our friends!!! Charty and I shopped and then we all drove home in the rain.

The dermatologist does not think Charlotte has an allergy. She would hate to put Charlotte through allergy testing, as do we, just for the hell of it, really. We'll talk to the new pediatrician on Tuesday about it.

Can I just add how glad I am that it's not looking like allergies? The 6 most common food allergens in children: peanuts, dairy, eggs, soy, wheat, shellfish/seafood

What in the WORLD would we eat for breakfast? not eggs, not cheese grits, not toast or english muffin, not cereal, not yogurt. Bacon and cantaloupe I guess. That would be really hard!!!

I want to cuss

I want to cuss, but I know that would be offensive but I don't think I'll feel better until I do.

$&%+!!!!!!!

We saw the pediatric allergist this morning. We arrived and found out we were scheduled for allergy testing. No, no, no, this is just suppose to be a consultation, the dermatologist told me yesterday she didn't even understand why we were still going to see an allergist. It wasn't an allergy. And all morning I've been telling Charty no poking, just talking.

Charlotte's pediatrician completely disagreed with the pathology report, and the allergist completely agrees with her. A biopsy is not diagnostic. A pathologist makes an educated guess as to what the skin sample looks like. The BIGGEST thing about granuloma annulare is that it DOES NOT ITCH and it usually consists of 3-4 skin-colored bumps, not 500 red bumps. Well, obviously, Charlotte's is red and itchy and all over her body. I'm starting to believe maybe we've got a misdiagnosis. I've also got three different doctors wanting to treat the rash three different ways.

Charlotte was hysterical. The allergist kept telling me it didn't bother him, which seemed odd, how can a screaming child not affect you? How can you continue to smile and carry on? While a baby is in your presence terrified? He wanted to do the allergy testing. He said, she's already upset, we'll hold her down and scratch her 25-30 times. No, we're not ready to do that. And then he talks to us like we're idiots. Our daughter had a biopsy a week ago. She still has the stitches. That told us nothing. We will only subject her to more trauma if we're fairly certain that it will tell us something conclusive. The allergist did make a call and get us into see a dermatologist for a second opionion. That physician has the clout to get us into a pediatric dermatologist at Emory.

And then I came home, loved on Charlotte, played, laid her down for a nap and jumped on the computer. La Leche League has some wonderful resources. I sit down with my afternoon cup of coffe and peanut butter coffee cake. I'm researching, reading and it hits me. Peanut butter. I have eaten peanut butter every day, at least twice a day since Charlotte was born. An EARLY introduction to a highly allergic food. Memorial Day weekend was when we first noticed the rash. We were at Noni & Popi's and Popi had made boiled peanuts. Charty DEVOURED them. Her rash was looking better the past several days. Yesterday she had 2 reese cups, peanuts from on top of Adam's ice cream cone and she nursed mommy who had had plenty of peanut butter herself. The rash was really bad last night and this morning. This mornign was the first morning in possibly a year I didn't have pb coffee cake (I was all out) but I baked one. I will not eat it. She has very little appetite. Her appetite has decreased dramatically since the rash. Could it be because sometimes when she eats her throat hurts, or feels scratchy? So, she doesnt' want to eat anything?

Oh my god, it makes perfect sense. Could this be it?

Biopsy Results/Diagnosis

The pathologist has diagnosed Charlotte's rash as Granuloma Annulare. http://www.aafp.org/afp/20061115/1729.html

Granuloma Annulare: (basically) a chronic skin condition consisting of raised, reddish or skin-colored bumps (lesions); it usually causes no other symptoms and has no long-term impact on your health; in most cases the lesions disappear on their own within two years. No known cause. No known treatment.

Charlotte's case is pretty severe. Usually the rash appears as three or four bumps, skin-colored and not itchy. Much makes me think they have the wrong thing altogether but can a biopsy be misinterpreted? I don't think it can. The pathologist thinks that it's being triggered by something medicinal. The only medicine she's been on has been that prescribed by her doctor, steroid & antil-histamine. And I know what you're thinking, the only medicine I've taken has been tylenol, which I'm stopping today for the next couple of weeks.

The dermatologist wants to start her on another radical round of steriods, her pediatrician disagrees - she wants us to see a specialist she's having to pull some strings for tomorrow morning.

Meanwhile Charlotte hardly got any sleep last night. She didn't fall asleep until after midnight, she woke up itching 5 or 6 times and got up early this morning. She itched the whole time she was trying to fall asleep for her afternoon nap. Her thighs are red and itchy, her arms are red and itchy...

...I'm grateful that all Charlotte has is a chronic skin rash but I don't feel better. I don't know how to help her.

Checking In

For those of you checking in...we still don't have the results in from Charlotte's biopsy. I talked to her dermatologist a little bit ago, she's assured me they should have the final report Monday morning. We'll see. Meanwhile, we've got to get through this weekend without the help of anti-histamines, allergist's orders - she's seeing him first thing next week.

Charlotte had her first haircut this week, well, a bang trim. I was all prepared with my camera and my 'first hair clippings' keepsake piece but it didn't go that way. The salon was precious, it was a kids only salon and all the chairs the kids sit in are fun little things: airplane, taxi, tracter, etcetera. There a\re flatscreen tv's at all the stations with cartoons playing. Charlotte picked out the yellow taxi as her chair, but as soon as we buckled her in, she wanted OUT. She started screaming and (especially after the week she had) I felt awful and just wanted it over with ASAP and wasn't going to leave her to get my camera. It took less than 60 seconds, they wouldn't even charge me. Poor Charlotte but she looks so cute with her little girl bangs. I don't have a picture yet with her bangs but I'll get one.

Oh, the joys of your first fudgesicle.

She's afraid of her stitches. When her shirt is off or raised or she's in the tub, she looks down and screams. They took the biopsy from her belly. We're trying to keep her distracted from it.

Adam had a busy week but still found time for Charlotte...sheclimbed up into his lap to help him.

We went for a car ride to get a milkshake at Chick-fil-a. Moses & Eloise got to come and ever since, whenever we go Charlotte tells me she wants Moses & Eloise to come. She throws her arms around their middles and heave-hoes and when she can't lift them she tells me to help them. When I convince them no, they have to stay this time, she says bye-bye to them and blows them a kiss.

She has also been helping me water the plants in the backyard. She actually watered one plant so well, she flooded it completely out of it's hole. Now, if only she could help me pull weeds, till and lay sod.

Biopsy

It was terrible. Noni & Popi went with us to the doctor's office this morning for the biopsy. I was nervous and anxious and explained it all to Charlotte ahead of time , which may have been a mistake, I don't know. She started crying as soon as we got into the waiting room and it certainly didn't go any better from there. Dr. Cheng removed her white coat, so Charlotte wouldn't always relate white coats with torture. It took 5 of us to hold her down. It had to be done. She has three stitches that will be removed in 2 weeks. We'll get the results back in 2-3 days.

Popi had a lollipop waiting and she had a new Elmo movie in the car. We went to Cracker Barrel for breakfast and she had fun exploring. She saw a great big Georgia Bulldog stuffed animal and wanted him, did not want to let him go. She didn't want anything to do with that spooky stuffed yellow jacket, 'Buzz'. She wanted the bulldog. Noni & Popi got her a GA Tech dress and a stuffed cat. She brought the cat with her to the table and fed the cat her food and drink. On the way out she tried out all the rocking chairs.

Popi is Charlotte's new best friend. They spent a lot of time together yesterday, playing and swimming, watching the Olympics (she brought her chair in from her room and sat it next to Popi) and swimming. She had so much fun in the pool yesterday. Absoutely no fear whatsoever. Which of course makes me a little worried. She's running in, walking down the steps until she's up to her chin. I hold her level with the water on her belly and she kicks her feet and reaches & digs with her arms.

I wish she could go swimming today, to help make it up to her. But we've got to keep her stitches dry.

Are you praying for us? God bless this child!

Noteworthy Event

Do you remember me pulling my hair out weeks ago over giving Charlotte her medicine? It was terrible. She would scream and squirm and spit it all out and/or choke.

Now suddenly, within the last week or two, something has changed. What? Adam has started giving Charlotte her medicine. He'll tell her, Charlotte it's time to take your mea-mea, can you come sit down, help daddy and then get special drink? Now, are you ready for the real kicker? She does. Last night she carried her own chair over, sat it down in front of her daddy, opened up her mouth and swallowed down all of that medicine. Then reached for special drink. AMAZING! Now sometimes she'll pretend. She'll hurry and open her mouth, barely taste the dropper, giggle and ask for drink, like she's passing one over on him.

R A S H

So I've heard it said that blogging is therapeutic - put all your troubles out there to share with the world. I'm sharing my misery in hopes that ya'll will feel it too? No, in hopes that ya'll will say a prayer for us. (As uncomfortable as that makes me because I think religion should be kept out of almost all things public, but yes, I'm saying it because a prayer would be greatly appreciated.)

The rash...is back. That sounds 'cutesy' but I in no way think there is anything cute about this. We started having this looked at, 7 weeks ago, by a very reputable pediatrician in Columbus, from there we went to Atlanta to see a dermatologist (3 times). We thought it was an allergic reaction, then eczema, then something viral. We changed pediatricians and had it looked at again, she agreed it was probably viral and was shocked at the strength of the medication that Charty was prescribed BUT the meds (prescribed by dermatologist) almost knocked the rash out. She tapered off the steroids and slowly but aggressively the rash has returned. Only this time, instead of being contained to her sides, it's all over her thighs, her belly & back, the tops of her feet and on her arms.

I researched common childhood allergies. Synthetic fibres. Hmmm....the rash is worse in the morning and when she wakes up from her nap. Her pj's are polyester (geez, how cheap are we?), the comforters are polyester blend (yes, even the summer quilt, strange, I agree), her blanket she naps with...polyester. Her stuffed animals, the rugs all over the house, etcetera, etcetera. Could this be an allergy to synthetic fibres? Pediatrician said maybe. All synthetic fibres, even wash-n-wear cotton, eliminated from the environment. Oh, diapers, DIAPERS! She wants her out of diapers. I can't tell you how many teetees I have cleaned up in the past 3 days, but I most certainly will continue to clean up teetees forever if it will help our Charlotte Rose. It's really exhausting, everything. The not knowing is what is so bad. I'm just worried, all the time, there's a worry knot in the pit of my stomach.

So, first thing Monday morning, we're having it biopsed. Oh, God. Bless her heart. Say a prayer for us.

Charty See, Charty Do

We were sitting eating pizza a couple of nights ago. Charlotte wanted out of her chair, wanted to come sit next to mommy on the bench at the kitchen table. She was toting her dolly with her. She had her cup and her pizza in front of her, dolly in her lap. She took Dolly's hand and hand-over-hand signed "drink". She gave her dolly a drink. Then dolly "signed" more and please. OH it was so cute! Adam and I realized then that we have the smartest toddler in town.

Popi's retirement party was last week. Popi is retired! Yay Popi! After 37 years working for the government. It was a family holiday and we all went. It was in the MLK building, downtown at 2pm...2pm otherwise known as Charlotte's nap time. So, I was a little concerned as to how her mood would be. She was her Noni and got excited and wanted nothing but to be with her. Then she saw her Aunt Elisa and wanted nothing but to play with all her bracelets. There were a bunch of people there and several people spoke but she was quiet and sweet. So many of the women Popi works with are so sweet! They even had balloons at the party especially for Charlotte. Right in the middle of someone's address to dad Charty ran up front and started pulling her balloons down in her face bopping herself over and over again. But she was quiet! And we had none of that high-octave screeching that she has been gracing us with.

The Wilson family got to spend some quality time together and over the 4 day weekend I had lots of alone time, or time away from Charlotte, which can be nice every once in a while. (Keep in mind that the longest I have been away from her in 19 1/2 months is 8 hours and that was just on one occassion...when we moved into our house here in Columbus.)

Charlotte loves to dress up in my jewelry and stomp around in my shoes. Bless her heart, she tends to be drawn to my prettier dress up shoes (which, come on, I'm not really a pretty, dress up shoe type of girl) so she has very little to choose from.

Charlotte has a lovey. None of the cute ones that we've picked out over the course of her life but an old raggamuffin one that she some how found, somewhere. It's an old stuffed Cocker Spaniel that she LOVES to stuff up under her armpit and tote around.

A few days ago it was getting close to time for Charlotte to wake up from her nap. I heard her in the baby monitor calling me...'mama? ma? mamamamamama?' I tip toe in there and she's halfway hiding behind her blanket. She sees me and hurries and covers herself up. And I say, where is Charlotte Rose?! And she throws the blanket down, suprises me, laughs and covers herself up again. We play this game alot.

But I think the biggest fun here lately - washable markers. Washable markers EVERYWHERE! She has a little table that I allow her to color all over but that's it! No markers on the wall or floors or on Moses or Eloise or CHARLOTTE! The first day she definetely colored on all aforementioned, which is why I decided it was necessary to lay down a few ground rules.

Charlotte is such a chunk! I mean, it's so cute but my arms are bulging out like a muscle man from toting her around and she hardly eats anything at all. Today so far she has had two bites of toast and two pepperonis. That's it. It's 5:33

Charlotte has no interest in her big girl elmo potty but we're finished with the diapers. Lord have mercy, I think she's allergic, to diapers, to all synthetic materials... That's best save for another post. Keep me in your prayers. I seriously think she's allergic...to diapers. No wait, think about that for a minute. My baby is allergic to diapers!

Birthday Present

Adam got his birthday gift this morning. Well, wait, let me slow down a bit...

I kept waking up this morning. I'd look over (glasses off) at Adam's side of the bed to see if he was still sleeping. It looked like he was laying pretty flat on his stomach, still asleep. I woke up again and again and judged whether or not I should rise by whether or not he was. Well, finally, I thought, okay, enough is enough, I need some coffee. I put on my glasses, glanced at the clock - 9:35am (whoa) and then over to Adam's side of the bed again, this time glasses on. It wasn't Adam I had been seeing all morning, sleeping on his stomach, but his pile of pj's. Whoops. Where is Adam?

Adam was almost finished power-washing the back patio. He woke up, cut the grass, edged and blowed (blowed?) blew (blew?) and started power-washing. Super daddy!

Charty looked out the back door discovered daddy was home, and took off for her room, returned moments later with squeaky shoes, needs help, mom, so she can go out and play with daddy. Of course I had to keep her in for a bit because power washing is dangerous.

I am really enjoying working in the yard. It's funny how since becoming a mom I have no interest anymore in shopping and doing girly things (what? like having my hair styled, buying shoes, nails done, you know, what most women consider basic grooming) and I love working out in the yard, planting and watering and feeding the birds and we now have a hummingbird feeder and it is GREAT! I am watching the hummingbird right now. He also likes the hibiscus and the mexican petunias. I can't get the finches to eat the thistle. We have butterflies on the butterfly bushes and Adam and I want to build/buy a bat house! How weird, right? I've come, say, full circle?

So, after all our morning chores we headed for uptown Columbus so Adam could pick out his birthday present, there's a bike shop, Ride On, where we got my bike and Charty's seat. Charlotte went wide open and nearly knocked down 30 bikes and kept climbing up on the tricycles and was just wild and I was exhausted after 5 minutes. She didn't want to leave and when I picked her up to go (after had to be AT LEAST 20 minutes, maybe 30) she screamed at the top of her lungs (which she has started doing lately) and it is INCREDIBLY MORTIFYINGLY embarrassing and Adam and I look at each other like what am I suppose to do?!?! huh...no idea. Then she ran full speed down the sidewalk, stopping only to look at dogs and her reflection in windows and to sit on EVERY bench, rocking chair, stoop, whatever, she saw. Charlotte doesn't walk anywhere anymore...she runs. I asked Adam what he thought about one of those child leashes. He wasn't amused.

So, yay! now we all have bikes eventhough Adam had to get a little tutorial on how to use his (what those gear can be tricky!) and when he asked if they would put a more comfortable saddle on his they kindly suggested he tough it out. (sorry Adam, too funny not to include, right?) And I'm hoping we can go bike riding at Callaway Gardens soon.

Babysitters are AMAZING

It's amazing how quickly our house can go from organized, clutter-free and clean to a total WRECK! It seems to be entirely connected to what time Charty goes down for a nap. She loves to run through the house, opening doors and cabinets and pulling everything out. I'm cleaning up the unrolled paper towels and she's throwing everything out of the guest bathroom under-sink cabinets so that she can climb in and hide. And you should see her room...and my room...

We had a play date today, last minute, not here, at her friends house. Yes. Super, I didn't have to run around frantically cleaning as Charlotte un-did it all.

Adam's birthday was Sunday, we had a party Saturday and it was fun! A nice mix of work and family with a couple of "just" friends thrown in for good measure. Amber was totally looking out for my well-being and sanity and brought along two highly-qualified baby-sitters (and family, family first!) and WOW! babysitters are AMAZING! I've got to find me one of those for use on a regular basis. I didn't even have to worry about Charlotte. She was having fun and taken care of.

Charlotte still has a rash. The strangest thing. We found a new pediatrician. She is WONDERFUL!!! Dr. Lorio Palmas, highly recommended by a friend and I LOVE HER. SHE is the pediatrician we have been searching for. As soon as she met Charlotte she got down on the floor with her to play. She spent an hour with us, discussing this bizarre-o rash and when we left Charty gave her kisses and big hugs. The nurses are great, the office staff is great. Charlotte went to the doctor's office...and ENJOYED it. We're going to keep an activity/food journal. She said to let her play, go outside! YAY!

I'll try and not let her get too hot but it's good for her to be outside. So, we went for a run together last night - and man, it is way easier to run WITHOUT pushing the stoller (hills) but we enjoyed it. When we were finished we went walking, looking for cats. There was a cat at our play date this morning. Poor cat. Charty found him and chased him all over the house, onto the sofa, under the bed. Whenever she caught him she'd try and pick him up, carry him with her.

Play your heart

And we're back....

...to Charlotte's happy sweet self again.

Our last visit to the dermatologist went well. She decided that it was a viral infection. It's finally starting to clear up. She still has random spots of the rash, and it's on the palms of her hands and the soles of her feet (doctor said think of it as working it's way "out") which totally made me think of those sole stickers they sell at the drug store and on info-mercials were you stick that sticky on the bottom of you feet and go to sleep and when you wake up and pull them off they're all nasty with all the toxins you released from your sleep, some Chinese cleansing something. I mean, she still has bumps and especially if I get her out in the heat. We were shopping yesterday and I could see the spots creeping back up under her armpit.


We went and saw John & Katy last week and had so much fun! We were at the mall and Charlotte started trying to say 'Katy' - it came out more of a 'taty'. The past couple of days Charlotte will sit in the armchair and watch the digital picture frame. There are pictures of Katy that cycle through. Charlotte will sit and watch the frame and when Katy comes on she points and says 'taty! taty!'


It rained a bunch this weekend. Charlotte loves to play in the rain. Yesterday evening it had finally stopped. We were all outside in the front. Adam was working in the carport and I was playing with Charlotte in the side yard, standing under the giant crepe myrtle. I couldn't resist. I jumped up and grabbed a branch, shook it and made water rain down, along with tiny white flower petals so it looked like a mixture of rain and snow. Charlotte gasped and looked up and closed her eyes. She held out her arms and squealed. She lit up with joy, and I felt the same way just from watching her.


Charty likes to be chased and tickled. She holds up her arms like a monster and says 'rar'. She loves it when Adam hides and jumps out and scares her.


Charlotte took her first shower last week. She escaped outside with Eloise while I was vacuuming the kitchen. She was still in her pj's. Next thing I know, she's in her pool, stomping around, diaper filling up. I pull her out of her bottoms and top, then I fling off the diaper (as it's nearly to exploding capacity) and she runs up the slide (it's set up to slide into the pool) and VROOOOM! Down she zips, fast as lightning. She landed not on her feet as usual but flat on her back, that's how quickly she zipped. Then she lay there, looking up at the sky and said, 'mama?' When she came in she had dirt all up her legs so I put her into the shower off the kitchen, thinking it'd be easy to just rinse her legs off. Oh no, she loved it! She wanted to stay in all day.




I think I'm starting to figure out this mothering thing. It's taken me 18 months. You read all the books, listen to everybody talk, ask the doctors, ask your parents & grandparents and friends but when it comes down to it playing your heart is what really matters, not perfection. Playing your heart is what you're after, when it's easy and especially when it feels impossible. Playing your heart when it's breaking and soaring, and hardest of all, I know, when it's both at the same time. It doesn't matter what everybody else says, or what they think, what the experts tell us, just play your heart.

Independence

Charlotte's rash is almost gone. How fantastic is that?!? It's amazing what the right dose of medicine can do. The secret to giving a toddler medicine? Stick the dropper in her cheek and blow in her face. Of course, I'm also off the pill (Adam swears she had a medicinal rash to my BCP), and if it was a viral infection then it took every bit of 3 weeks to run it's course which is what the doctor said. So, who knows? I'm just glad it's clearing up and on it's way out.

Chris & Aubrey came and if they were bored out of their minds they were sweet about it. I was bordering on irritable as living with an itchy & bored Charlotte was pushing me to my limits and I could be heard repeatedly uttering the phrase, 'I'm about to lose my mind'. Darla the yorkie came along with Chris & Aubrey and Darla is quite possibly the funnest dog Charty knows. Darla is a year old and tiny and not in the least bit afraid of Charlotte...nor does she really realize that Charlotte is a 'big deal' as my dogs and Noni & Popi's dog realize hence, they are to be on their BEST behavior (= boring) whenever Charlotte is present. No, Darla knows no such rules thus she is a fluff of fun. Charty learned at 18 months what all girls learn at some point in young life...the squeal. Running around, laughing, chasing Darla squealing in a pitch that was probably registering with hounds within a 5 mile radius. Luckily, my nerves were the only ones shot, so I was the only one about to lose my mind, everyone else thought it was so cute.

Aubrey was fun and danced with Charlotte and read her stories and everyone helped her make BOOMS (stacking and bulldozing blocks). Chris was nice and smiled and kept at a safe distance so Charlotte & he were friends by the time they left and waved bye-bye and blew kisses.

We went walking a couple of times this weekend, in the evening, when it was cool. Charlotte walked all over the neighborhood, we were amazed (that the sandals she was wearing that Katy picked out that I insisted would give her blisters did not give her blisters). We usually bring along a stroller or the wagon for when she gets tired. Moses & Eloise come mostly. A couple of nights ago I stuck Mo Ellie in the stroller and they had a big time. Then Charty wanted in with them so there they all 3 were, snuggled up, taking in the sights, scoping out kitty cats together. Charlotte needs a sister.

Last night when it was time for night-night, as usual, Adam kissed his girls goodnight, turned out his light and 20 seconds later was sound asleep. Charlotte wasn't quite ready to go to sleep so she found glo-worm and gave her a squeeze. Then watched as glo-worm came to life, face glowing, humming a lullabye. Charty stares at her real intently and then always give glo-worm kisses when she lights up. Not mild ones either, I mean, lip-smacking kisses. Then she'll give me kisses and say 'mama', in the sweetest voice ever uttered on this earth.

There are plenty of times when I worry about whether or not we've made the right choices with Charlotte. Especially the sleeping, the night-time routine. But I can't imagine not having done it this way. If we hadn't brought her to sleep with us when she was 6 weeks old then we would have done it at 6 months, or a year, or whenever she had a tough day and needed extra snuggling. And I love this time, I cherish it. It will be gone so fast and she won't want to snuggle up with mommy & daddy. She plays with glo-worm (quietly - she knows the rule), they sing and dance and kiss and hug. Actually, she saves her BIG HUGS for Bo-Bo the frog (she'll give him hug, help him sign more and then give him another one). Then she goes to check on daddy to see if he's still asleep, because if he's not, she's going climbing, but he is, and she knows not to wake him. She'll say 'mama' and curl herself up next to me, takes my arm and puts it across her belly (or puts her foot in my hand, wanting me to give it a good rub). After she falls asleep I roll around and flip on a dim light and pull out my book (currently Middlesex by Eugenides and it has taken me 300+ pages to get to the good part which makes the good part all the more better). Could life be any more wonderful? Well...I guess if I had a maid...

As a child I brought all of my stuffed animals to bed with me so that no one's feelings would be hurt. I didn't crate train Moses as a puppy as I was instructed, as soon as he whined, I plopped him into bed with me. Adam slept with Magnus (GREAT DANE) and holds Moses when it thunders out). It was written in the stars that our baby would sleep with us, because Adam is just like me. Dare I say it? We're sensitive. So though I second-guess myself all the time...I feel good about our decision. It's what works for us, it's what makes us happy.

Yesterday stormed. Charlotte watched it from the front porch, clapping, because I can only assume that's what the rain sounded like. And proudly waved her American flags. Finally, Eloise couldn't stand it anymore, she had to go potty. Opened up the back door and out she crept, rain and all. I turn my back, there goes Charlotte, after "Eyie". Oh, rain! She loves the rain. By the time I realized she was outside, she was soaked. So, why not let her enjoy herself? And enjoy herself she did.

This glamorous life

Life always seems more glamorous when you’re writing about it as opposed to living it. Maybe I’ll feel better at the end of this post…

Charlotte saw the dermatologist again yesterday. She has retracted her initial diagnosis and has offered up a new one. Originally, Charty was diagnosed with eczema. And it did look like eczema but it didn’t make sense that she’d have it. From our research it runs in families, is common among children who also suffer from allergies, asthma, hay fever, etc. and she doesn’t have any of that. It’s also more common among babies that aren’t nursed past 6 months...HELLO?

Now the dermatologist is thinking that it is something viral - that maybe she picked it up from her gymnastics class...She's upped her dosage of steroids and we're trying a stronger topical. She's not allowed to be around other kids, she still can't play outside, she has to be kept cool and calm inside. One look at Charlotte yesterday and the doctor said, 'she's not taking her medicine'. Well, no, but it's not for lack of trying. She simply holds it in her mouth and spits it out. They say not to give babies medicine laying down, they need to be sitting up so that they don't choke. But it's just not working. We've tried mixing it in sprite, grape fanta, coke, ice cream and it's all no go. If it's not better by next Wednesday the doctor wants to biopsy it. We certainly don't want to have to do that if there is any way possible we can help it. It will be so traumatic for her. Charlotte really likes baby Tylenol. When she find a bottle (sounds weird, I keep a couple things like that under her bathroom sink in a basket) she'll bring it to me and ask me to open it. We're going to have the pharmacist flavor her meds with cherry and then I'll put a dose in a cleaned out Tylenol bottle and try giving it to her that way. I'm not hopeful but I swear...if this doesn't work, I'll have to hold her down and force it...or Adam will...I DON'T WANT HER TO CHOKE!!! Oh jeez...being a parent is SO HARD! The decisions...

Oh the dilemma the struggle the turmoil. Will this skin rash never end?!?!?!

So that's been the past week. Me worried sick over the state of her skin, Charlotte bored and cranky and itchy and Adam working, taking my frantic calls no matter what meeting he's in the middle of or who he is in the middle of fussing at.

I felt really guilty for Charlotte last week so we did some retail therapy. I let her run around, explore, play and select toys at Toys R Us. Of course, what she wanted was the tricycle which isn't exactly an indoor-friendly toy. She did get a basketball goal though, for inside (guilt). What we need is a mini trampoline...

I asked Charlotte last night where Eloise's belly button was. She looked at me, looked at Eloise (poor Eloise, completely oblivious), looked back at me, said, huh and shrugged her shoulders. Then she ran over to Eloise, plopped down on her belly and tried crawling up under Eloise to find it.

Moses likes to lay in a basket of blankets on one end of Charlotte's bed. Charlotte likes to stock pile her stuffed animals into her bed then she stands up, carries one over to Moses's end (where he is laying on the other side of the tall rail) and drops them...right on his head. Poor Moses. He'll look at me, where I can't help but laugh and gives me (what I imagine to be) an Eeyore...thanks for noticing...

Charlotte got an Elmo potty. She sits on it, and when she does Elmo talks which would totally make me uncomfortable but Charty seems to like it. She just sits there and then goes to get toilet paper and crams it between her legs (well, that's something). When I change her diaper I'll sit her on it. A couple mornings ago I got her up and changed her diaper and sat her on Elmo. She looked at me, jumped up and peed right on the bathroom floor. I said uh-oh and plopped her back on Elmo and said, tee tee on elmo potty. She jumped up and ran into her room and finished tee-teeing on the rug.

We will be indoors for the 4th of July. They shoot fireworks here on the hoooch, not at the park, boo. We will be bored to death. Chris & Aubrey are coming to stay with us this weekend so they will be bored to death as well, but actually, that should make mine & Adam's weekend a bit more fun. Remember...Charlotte can't be outside and she can't be around a bunch of people. All I have to look forward to is the red, white & blue trifle I'm making (cool whip, blueberries, strawberries). I am proud to be an American and I am thankful of our independence and suddenly I feel a bit spoiled and self-involved.

Will someone please drink a vodka tonic for me, oh, and lay in the sun, be completely self-indulgent...Katy in Aruba...

Last Sunday Adam was home and I got to go to the library and the grocery store all by myself and what a nice treat! I felt so...RELAXED. Then later that evening Adam took Charlotte for a bike ride and I got to go on a nice long run alone and the weather was great and I had a super playlist on.

And Charlotte will be alright.

And life is good.

Happy 4th of July.