Grover's Patriotism

We have a bit of a problem.

Last night, we were glued to the Democratic Convention - waiting to hear Obama's acceptance speech. When it finally came on, Charty was still up (Adam was really late getting home last night). She plops down in her armchair with Grover to watch Obama. Finally, Obama comes on stage. I was disappointed, I totally thought he'd parachute in or something, I mean, there's all this hype about him...Grover starts clapping away! Can't hardly control how excited he is. Then Charlotte drops Grover and starts clapping herself! Adam and I look at each other.

Uh-oh. Charlotte's a democrat? Really? Come on Charlotte! It was the same old same old, blah blah blah nothing substantive about what he will do or what he's done. But I like him, he's so nice and he has precious kids and his wife looked really cute last night, didn't she? But, the speech left me feeling...nothing? I mean Grover liked it but he's doesn't have a brain. (oh, Grant, I'm sorry...)

There's all this hype and he is such a great speaker and what a great story he has, I mean he's 47 and has written 2 memoirs and had an over-acheiving, absent father (makes for in interesting impact on a son's psyche), but he shouldn't be president. Obama is so optimistic and hopeful but how in the world is he going to implement all these lofty ideas? He's going to give a tax break to 95% of working families? What working families? Who qualifies? Do we qualify?! He's going to eliminate our dependence on foreign oil in 10 years? What?!?!? How?!?!?! Oh, with the renewable energy that he is going to invest $150 billion in....

With whose money? If I don't qualify for that tax break he's telling me about, my family will be paying? He's going to repay the defecit, get us out of Iraq (he'll talk us out), provide gov't-controlled health care to all (I'm scared), eliminate our dependence on foreign oil, provide tax breaks to everyone except my family and most of ya'll reading this and fund $150 billion in a pilot-mission? But here it is, this is what put me over: "I've got news for you John McCain, we all put our country first." NOTHING Obama has ever done can compare to John McCain's sacrifice.

It just kind of felt silly, a little naive, but it was a great show...but I think that's all it is...

The fireworks were nice. The music was dramatic. Maybe that's what Charlotte liked.

August, BF'ing Rant, Coco?

How can you be anything but happy on a beautiful day like today? Is it beautiful there? It is simply amazing outside today. I dread August all year because it's usually so hot and muggy, like someone wrapped a hot, wet towel around you whenever you open the door to go outside but this August of the year 2008 has been so nice! Could it have anything to do with carbon and greenhouse gases?!?! If so, buddy, let's go joyriding! No, wait...Hurricane Katrina was in August and it was related to climate changes. We'll just be lucky and thankful for this reprieve.
(actually, it rained cats & dogs earlier in the week, which is when this photo was snapped. we got home from the library, I pulled her out of the car and she immediately ran out into the rain...she loves it)


It's going to the playground weather again. I should take Charlotte. I'm trying out a new nickname for Charlotte, 'Coco'. I was looking through my notebook of when I was pregnant and all the notes I took on names. I actually researched and researched and RESEARCHED names, trying to pick the best one for our daughter. On one page of notes I noticed I made a list of possible nicknames for Charlotte. One of which was 'Coco' and I forgot about it until this morning. I'm going to give it a shot this week. I shouldn't say that - Adam has been calling her 'Coco-Ro' forever but I've just kind of tuned it out, I guess.

We found a new pediatrician. She concurs with pathologist diagnosis: Interstitial Granuloma Annulare. No cure, treat the symptoms, go see pediatric dermatologist at Emory. We liked her, we liked the office. I'm switching pediatricians. Primarilly because the pediatrician we were seeing sent me some red flags. (1) She had no idea what Charlotte's rash was; (2) Could not get me into see the dermatologist here in Columbus; (3) Lectured me for 20 minutes a week ago about weaning Charlotte.

Let me clarify some of the main reasons I am continuing to nurse Charlotte:

"Parents and health professionals need to recognize that the benefits of breastfeeding (nutritional, immunological, cognitive, emotional) continue as long as breastfeeding itself does, and that there never comes a point when you can replace breast milk with infant formula, cows' milk or any other food, or breastfeeding with a pacifier or teddy bear, without some costs to the child."
-- KA Dettwyler, "Beauty and the Breast" from Breastfeeding: Biocultural Perspectives, 1995, p. 204.

In the second year (12-23 months), 448 mL of breastmilk provides:

• 29% of energy requirements


• 43% of protein requirements


• 36% of calcium requirements


• 75% of vitamin A requirements


• 76% of folate requirements


• 94% of vitamin B12 requirements


• 60% of vitamin C requirements
  

--Dewey 2001

The American Academy of Family Physicians notes that children weaned before two years of age are at increased risk of illness (AAFP 2001).

Nursing toddlers between the ages of 16 and 30 months have been found to have fewer illnesses and illnesses of shorter duration than their non-nursing peers (Gulick 1986).

Extensive research on the relationship between cognitive achievement (IQ scores, grades in school) and breastfeeding has shown the greatest gains for those children breastfed the longest.

"Meeting a child's dependency needs is the key to helping that child achieve independence. And children outgrow these needs according to their own unique timetable."

Children who achieve independence at their own pace are more secure in that independence then children forced into independence prematurely.

A US Surgeon General has stated that it is a lucky baby who continues to nurse until age two. (Novello 1990)

The World Health Organization emphasizes the importance of nursing up to two years of age or beyond (WHO 1992, WHO 2002).

• Breastfeeding reduces the risk of breast cancer (References).


• Studies have found a significant inverse association between duration of lactation and breast cancer risk.


• Breastfeeding reduces the risk of ovarian cancer (References).


• Breastfeeding reduces the risk of uterine cancer (References).


• Breastfeeding reduces the risk of endometrial cancer (References).


• Breastfeeding protects against osteoporosis.
  

The most fascinating studies show that the longer and more frequently a mom nurses her baby, the smarter her child is likely to become. The brain grows more during the first two years of life than any other time, nearly tripling in size from birth to two years of age. It's clearly a crucial time for brain development, and the intellectual advantage breastfed babies enjoy is attributed to the "smart fats" unique to mom's breast milk (namely, omega-3 fatty acid, also known as DHA). From head to toe, babies who breastfeed for extended periods of time are healthier overall. --Sears 2008

(see http://www.kellymom.com/)

But really, the main reason I'm continuing to nurse Charlotte is because it works for us. I think that every mother should follow her own instincts with regards to something as special as how she chooses to feed her baby. I'm an advocate of breastfeeding my baby because it worked so well for me but that's not to say that it works like that for everyone. I do not, nor will I ever, pass judgement on a mother that chooses not to nurse. I say, follow your instincts and do what's right for you. What all babies need most is a happy, well-rested, secure mommy. But I am happy to share my experience! easy as it has been...

I still say the bottle intimidates me and seems so much harder.

Speaking of which, Coco loves to feed her baby dolls bottles. She saw a bottle at the house, we washed it for her and gave it to her and she gets a kick out of carrying it around and drinking water out of it...just like her babies. She's never seen another baby nurse...she saw some piglets nursing their mommy on National Geographic last night...made me feel weird...

We were at Pottery Barn Kids last week and she found a dolly stroller with a dolly in it. Coco pushed it all around the store until we got to the Big Boy rooms and she saw some stuffed doggies. She threw that baby on the floor and plopped that jack russell terrier dog in there instead.

Coco has finally grasped 'first-and-then'. Hooray! Now I can say with success, first eat potatoes, then you can have ice and it works. I can say, first sit in the shopping car, then you can have ball. And then I add something else. If you stand up in cart, then ball is finished. It is working beautifully! Ah, the loveliness of reason.

Noni calls and Charlotte talks on the phone. It will ring and she'll say, heyo? But it has to ring first. If you just hand her the phone with Noni on it, she just listens. Noni got tired of just talking on the phone so she & Popi drove down. Coco was so excited to see them when she woke up from her nap. Gone are the days she wouldn't play with Popi! She is all about Popi now. She completely monopolized her grandparents, wouldn't have a thing to do with mommy and Adam and I got to go to the grocery store...alone! I never could have imagined there'd come a day where going grocery shopping was considered an 'event'.

Charlotte can do her puzzles. AND shape sorter, eventhough for most shapes she just takes off the lid and sticks it in. That counts though, right?

Coco sounds ridiculous. I don't think it's a good nickname.

GAIT, again

Friday morning Charlotte's original diagnosis by the first dermatologist we saw was reaffirmed and expanded on.

Interstitial Granuloma Annulare

Which is different from Granuloma Annulare in that it is all over the body (not just in circles) and is really REALLY itchy. Doc told us that she has patients with it that are just miserable. It's rare and there is no cure. They don't know what causes it and they can't cure it. They don't know that much about it. She doesn't want to put Charlotte on steroids. Because, obviously, the steroids will treat it temporarily but once she's off the steroids it will come right back and it's dangerous to put a child on strong steroids because it causes the child's own production of steroids to decrease or stop. Charlotte could stop growing! Her hair could fall out, cause cognitive delays...

She recommended a pediatrician in Columbus that we're going to see on Tuesday (Charty also has to get her stitches out).

Charlotte was really upset in the doctor's office. I brought a bag full of new toys for her to pull out and play with and that helped (thanks for rec, Amber). The dermatologist also looked like Addison Shepherd (Grey's Anatomy) so I think that helped...Adam...too... (wink) She was really sweet and really smart. She asked about Charty's experience with the biopsy and was appalled, as was I, to learn that they didn't apply a numbing cream before the biopsy, I knew nothing about numbing cream until the new doctor told me about it. I was ticked off. She said the shots they give to numb the area really sting. Oh it makes me so mad! I'm going to insist upon the numbing cream from now on, when she gets vaccines or anything. I've been practicing in the mirror - No, I INSIST you apply numbing cream. I am the mother and I INSIST.

We went to Birmingham after the appointments. We saw some old friends and new babies and it was so much fun. We miss our friends!!! Charty and I shopped and then we all drove home in the rain.

The dermatologist does not think Charlotte has an allergy. She would hate to put Charlotte through allergy testing, as do we, just for the hell of it, really. We'll talk to the new pediatrician on Tuesday about it.

Can I just add how glad I am that it's not looking like allergies? The 6 most common food allergens in children: peanuts, dairy, eggs, soy, wheat, shellfish/seafood

What in the WORLD would we eat for breakfast? not eggs, not cheese grits, not toast or english muffin, not cereal, not yogurt. Bacon and cantaloupe I guess. That would be really hard!!!

I want to cuss

I want to cuss, but I know that would be offensive but I don't think I'll feel better until I do.

$&%+!!!!!!!

We saw the pediatric allergist this morning. We arrived and found out we were scheduled for allergy testing. No, no, no, this is just suppose to be a consultation, the dermatologist told me yesterday she didn't even understand why we were still going to see an allergist. It wasn't an allergy. And all morning I've been telling Charty no poking, just talking.

Charlotte's pediatrician completely disagreed with the pathology report, and the allergist completely agrees with her. A biopsy is not diagnostic. A pathologist makes an educated guess as to what the skin sample looks like. The BIGGEST thing about granuloma annulare is that it DOES NOT ITCH and it usually consists of 3-4 skin-colored bumps, not 500 red bumps. Well, obviously, Charlotte's is red and itchy and all over her body. I'm starting to believe maybe we've got a misdiagnosis. I've also got three different doctors wanting to treat the rash three different ways.

Charlotte was hysterical. The allergist kept telling me it didn't bother him, which seemed odd, how can a screaming child not affect you? How can you continue to smile and carry on? While a baby is in your presence terrified? He wanted to do the allergy testing. He said, she's already upset, we'll hold her down and scratch her 25-30 times. No, we're not ready to do that. And then he talks to us like we're idiots. Our daughter had a biopsy a week ago. She still has the stitches. That told us nothing. We will only subject her to more trauma if we're fairly certain that it will tell us something conclusive. The allergist did make a call and get us into see a dermatologist for a second opionion. That physician has the clout to get us into a pediatric dermatologist at Emory.

And then I came home, loved on Charlotte, played, laid her down for a nap and jumped on the computer. La Leche League has some wonderful resources. I sit down with my afternoon cup of coffe and peanut butter coffee cake. I'm researching, reading and it hits me. Peanut butter. I have eaten peanut butter every day, at least twice a day since Charlotte was born. An EARLY introduction to a highly allergic food. Memorial Day weekend was when we first noticed the rash. We were at Noni & Popi's and Popi had made boiled peanuts. Charty DEVOURED them. Her rash was looking better the past several days. Yesterday she had 2 reese cups, peanuts from on top of Adam's ice cream cone and she nursed mommy who had had plenty of peanut butter herself. The rash was really bad last night and this morning. This mornign was the first morning in possibly a year I didn't have pb coffee cake (I was all out) but I baked one. I will not eat it. She has very little appetite. Her appetite has decreased dramatically since the rash. Could it be because sometimes when she eats her throat hurts, or feels scratchy? So, she doesnt' want to eat anything?

Oh my god, it makes perfect sense. Could this be it?

Biopsy Results/Diagnosis

The pathologist has diagnosed Charlotte's rash as Granuloma Annulare. http://www.aafp.org/afp/20061115/1729.html

Granuloma Annulare: (basically) a chronic skin condition consisting of raised, reddish or skin-colored bumps (lesions); it usually causes no other symptoms and has no long-term impact on your health; in most cases the lesions disappear on their own within two years. No known cause. No known treatment.

Charlotte's case is pretty severe. Usually the rash appears as three or four bumps, skin-colored and not itchy. Much makes me think they have the wrong thing altogether but can a biopsy be misinterpreted? I don't think it can. The pathologist thinks that it's being triggered by something medicinal. The only medicine she's been on has been that prescribed by her doctor, steroid & antil-histamine. And I know what you're thinking, the only medicine I've taken has been tylenol, which I'm stopping today for the next couple of weeks.

The dermatologist wants to start her on another radical round of steriods, her pediatrician disagrees - she wants us to see a specialist she's having to pull some strings for tomorrow morning.

Meanwhile Charlotte hardly got any sleep last night. She didn't fall asleep until after midnight, she woke up itching 5 or 6 times and got up early this morning. She itched the whole time she was trying to fall asleep for her afternoon nap. Her thighs are red and itchy, her arms are red and itchy...

...I'm grateful that all Charlotte has is a chronic skin rash but I don't feel better. I don't know how to help her.

Checking In

For those of you checking in...we still don't have the results in from Charlotte's biopsy. I talked to her dermatologist a little bit ago, she's assured me they should have the final report Monday morning. We'll see. Meanwhile, we've got to get through this weekend without the help of anti-histamines, allergist's orders - she's seeing him first thing next week.

Charlotte had her first haircut this week, well, a bang trim. I was all prepared with my camera and my 'first hair clippings' keepsake piece but it didn't go that way. The salon was precious, it was a kids only salon and all the chairs the kids sit in are fun little things: airplane, taxi, tracter, etcetera. There a\re flatscreen tv's at all the stations with cartoons playing. Charlotte picked out the yellow taxi as her chair, but as soon as we buckled her in, she wanted OUT. She started screaming and (especially after the week she had) I felt awful and just wanted it over with ASAP and wasn't going to leave her to get my camera. It took less than 60 seconds, they wouldn't even charge me. Poor Charlotte but she looks so cute with her little girl bangs. I don't have a picture yet with her bangs but I'll get one.

Oh, the joys of your first fudgesicle.

She's afraid of her stitches. When her shirt is off or raised or she's in the tub, she looks down and screams. They took the biopsy from her belly. We're trying to keep her distracted from it.

Adam had a busy week but still found time for Charlotte...sheclimbed up into his lap to help him.

We went for a car ride to get a milkshake at Chick-fil-a. Moses & Eloise got to come and ever since, whenever we go Charlotte tells me she wants Moses & Eloise to come. She throws her arms around their middles and heave-hoes and when she can't lift them she tells me to help them. When I convince them no, they have to stay this time, she says bye-bye to them and blows them a kiss.

She has also been helping me water the plants in the backyard. She actually watered one plant so well, she flooded it completely out of it's hole. Now, if only she could help me pull weeds, till and lay sod.

Biopsy

It was terrible. Noni & Popi went with us to the doctor's office this morning for the biopsy. I was nervous and anxious and explained it all to Charlotte ahead of time , which may have been a mistake, I don't know. She started crying as soon as we got into the waiting room and it certainly didn't go any better from there. Dr. Cheng removed her white coat, so Charlotte wouldn't always relate white coats with torture. It took 5 of us to hold her down. It had to be done. She has three stitches that will be removed in 2 weeks. We'll get the results back in 2-3 days.

Popi had a lollipop waiting and she had a new Elmo movie in the car. We went to Cracker Barrel for breakfast and she had fun exploring. She saw a great big Georgia Bulldog stuffed animal and wanted him, did not want to let him go. She didn't want anything to do with that spooky stuffed yellow jacket, 'Buzz'. She wanted the bulldog. Noni & Popi got her a GA Tech dress and a stuffed cat. She brought the cat with her to the table and fed the cat her food and drink. On the way out she tried out all the rocking chairs.

Popi is Charlotte's new best friend. They spent a lot of time together yesterday, playing and swimming, watching the Olympics (she brought her chair in from her room and sat it next to Popi) and swimming. She had so much fun in the pool yesterday. Absoutely no fear whatsoever. Which of course makes me a little worried. She's running in, walking down the steps until she's up to her chin. I hold her level with the water on her belly and she kicks her feet and reaches & digs with her arms.

I wish she could go swimming today, to help make it up to her. But we've got to keep her stitches dry.

Are you praying for us? God bless this child!

Noteworthy Event

Do you remember me pulling my hair out weeks ago over giving Charlotte her medicine? It was terrible. She would scream and squirm and spit it all out and/or choke.

Now suddenly, within the last week or two, something has changed. What? Adam has started giving Charlotte her medicine. He'll tell her, Charlotte it's time to take your mea-mea, can you come sit down, help daddy and then get special drink? Now, are you ready for the real kicker? She does. Last night she carried her own chair over, sat it down in front of her daddy, opened up her mouth and swallowed down all of that medicine. Then reached for special drink. AMAZING! Now sometimes she'll pretend. She'll hurry and open her mouth, barely taste the dropper, giggle and ask for drink, like she's passing one over on him.

R A S H

So I've heard it said that blogging is therapeutic - put all your troubles out there to share with the world. I'm sharing my misery in hopes that ya'll will feel it too? No, in hopes that ya'll will say a prayer for us. (As uncomfortable as that makes me because I think religion should be kept out of almost all things public, but yes, I'm saying it because a prayer would be greatly appreciated.)

The rash...is back. That sounds 'cutesy' but I in no way think there is anything cute about this. We started having this looked at, 7 weeks ago, by a very reputable pediatrician in Columbus, from there we went to Atlanta to see a dermatologist (3 times). We thought it was an allergic reaction, then eczema, then something viral. We changed pediatricians and had it looked at again, she agreed it was probably viral and was shocked at the strength of the medication that Charty was prescribed BUT the meds (prescribed by dermatologist) almost knocked the rash out. She tapered off the steroids and slowly but aggressively the rash has returned. Only this time, instead of being contained to her sides, it's all over her thighs, her belly & back, the tops of her feet and on her arms.

I researched common childhood allergies. Synthetic fibres. Hmmm....the rash is worse in the morning and when she wakes up from her nap. Her pj's are polyester (geez, how cheap are we?), the comforters are polyester blend (yes, even the summer quilt, strange, I agree), her blanket she naps with...polyester. Her stuffed animals, the rugs all over the house, etcetera, etcetera. Could this be an allergy to synthetic fibres? Pediatrician said maybe. All synthetic fibres, even wash-n-wear cotton, eliminated from the environment. Oh, diapers, DIAPERS! She wants her out of diapers. I can't tell you how many teetees I have cleaned up in the past 3 days, but I most certainly will continue to clean up teetees forever if it will help our Charlotte Rose. It's really exhausting, everything. The not knowing is what is so bad. I'm just worried, all the time, there's a worry knot in the pit of my stomach.

So, first thing Monday morning, we're having it biopsed. Oh, God. Bless her heart. Say a prayer for us.

Charty See, Charty Do

We were sitting eating pizza a couple of nights ago. Charlotte wanted out of her chair, wanted to come sit next to mommy on the bench at the kitchen table. She was toting her dolly with her. She had her cup and her pizza in front of her, dolly in her lap. She took Dolly's hand and hand-over-hand signed "drink". She gave her dolly a drink. Then dolly "signed" more and please. OH it was so cute! Adam and I realized then that we have the smartest toddler in town.

Popi's retirement party was last week. Popi is retired! Yay Popi! After 37 years working for the government. It was a family holiday and we all went. It was in the MLK building, downtown at 2pm...2pm otherwise known as Charlotte's nap time. So, I was a little concerned as to how her mood would be. She was her Noni and got excited and wanted nothing but to be with her. Then she saw her Aunt Elisa and wanted nothing but to play with all her bracelets. There were a bunch of people there and several people spoke but she was quiet and sweet. So many of the women Popi works with are so sweet! They even had balloons at the party especially for Charlotte. Right in the middle of someone's address to dad Charty ran up front and started pulling her balloons down in her face bopping herself over and over again. But she was quiet! And we had none of that high-octave screeching that she has been gracing us with.

The Wilson family got to spend some quality time together and over the 4 day weekend I had lots of alone time, or time away from Charlotte, which can be nice every once in a while. (Keep in mind that the longest I have been away from her in 19 1/2 months is 8 hours and that was just on one occassion...when we moved into our house here in Columbus.)

Charlotte loves to dress up in my jewelry and stomp around in my shoes. Bless her heart, she tends to be drawn to my prettier dress up shoes (which, come on, I'm not really a pretty, dress up shoe type of girl) so she has very little to choose from.

Charlotte has a lovey. None of the cute ones that we've picked out over the course of her life but an old raggamuffin one that she some how found, somewhere. It's an old stuffed Cocker Spaniel that she LOVES to stuff up under her armpit and tote around.

A few days ago it was getting close to time for Charlotte to wake up from her nap. I heard her in the baby monitor calling me...'mama? ma? mamamamamama?' I tip toe in there and she's halfway hiding behind her blanket. She sees me and hurries and covers herself up. And I say, where is Charlotte Rose?! And she throws the blanket down, suprises me, laughs and covers herself up again. We play this game alot.

But I think the biggest fun here lately - washable markers. Washable markers EVERYWHERE! She has a little table that I allow her to color all over but that's it! No markers on the wall or floors or on Moses or Eloise or CHARLOTTE! The first day she definetely colored on all aforementioned, which is why I decided it was necessary to lay down a few ground rules.

Charlotte is such a chunk! I mean, it's so cute but my arms are bulging out like a muscle man from toting her around and she hardly eats anything at all. Today so far she has had two bites of toast and two pepperonis. That's it. It's 5:33

Charlotte has no interest in her big girl elmo potty but we're finished with the diapers. Lord have mercy, I think she's allergic, to diapers, to all synthetic materials... That's best save for another post. Keep me in your prayers. I seriously think she's allergic...to diapers. No wait, think about that for a minute. My baby is allergic to diapers!