And we're back!

It started out pretty rough -

Charlie fell asleep right away and her head fell forward forward forward until it was almost touching her knees. Adam set me up with a little mirror that attaches to my mirror so that I can see her. I kept staring at her little head and soon to be sore neck and pulled over, fixed it (see, we've invested in countless pillows and gadgets and dollies to help remedy this problem. Back on the road, 1 minute later, head falls forward again. Repeat 4 times - after 20 minutes, and the 4th stop she was up. Now we have four hours left in the car and Charlotte is sleep deprived by 2 hours. Thank goodness for Teletubbies. About 3 hours in I guess she got tired of Tinky Winky because she started kicking and tugging on her DVD player. I scolded her, she laughed and continued to kick, waiting for me to make that funny mean face again...

She fell asleep again 10 minutes from Columbus. Adam was already at the hotel so he ran out, jumped in the car and we left for dinner (and to drive around the area I'd already scoped out).

Previously I'd fallen in love with the midtown park district of Columbus - all these old homes, restored, loads of character and charm. Finally got to show Adam and he really liked the area (even though it was dark out and he didnt' get to see it GOOD) and it does have a lot of charm so we haven't ruled it out entirely but we haven't found the right house for us there YET...

We went for Italian, Charlie had spaghetti and limes and made a HUGE mess, I know, hard to believe...then we went to Toys R Us. Charlotte was riding in the basket of the buggy (prohibited) like Teen Wolf surfing on the top of his van when she spotted a baby doll. So, she got her first baby doll, and Charlie with that doll is so precious. She pokes her in the eyes and grabs her feet and whacks her head on the floor, then she shows her to me and I give kiss and make 'boo boo' all better for baby.

The next morning, Noni arrived (HOORAY!) to help for the day while I looked at houses with the realtor and Adam attended meetings. We're all loaded, Charlotte's in her car seat and DVD player WILL NOT TURN ON. Oh no...

I ran and jumped in the car with the realtor, poor Noni...left to drive Charlie around with no movie...But if you know Noni, you know she has a stress level of like negative 5 or something, has the most optimistic, enthusiastic disposition all of us that know her have ever known, so all I have to say about her driving Charlotte around with no DVD player? Better her than me...

It turned out to be a good day and at the end of it, when Noni got in her car to drive to Hampton and I got in mine with Charlotte, there was a Wal-Mart just 4 minutes away and we managed to get a DVD player. And as soon as I got it hooked in and running, Charlotte started kicking it...and laughing...

We went to Hampton, where Moses, Eloise, Star and Jakob were (and Popi!). Charlotte was excited to see Mo/Ellie but when Jakob came running up she squealed. When we're out walking and she sees a yellow dog she points and says 'MO' real excitedly and tries to get my attention (remember, 'Mo' is her word for 'look'). She has a Baby Einstein DVD about pets and there's a Golden and a Lab in the part about dogs and she gets really excited and tries to show me whenever she sees them. She's trying to say Jakob...

Charlotte got some Wee Squeak shoes! http://www.weesqueak.com/ They are so precious! She wants to walk all the time with those things on and I think they're helping. She'd had a tendency to step on the inside of her right feet, lead with her left and now, if she does that, the shoe won't squeak, she has to step correctly for the squeak. She wants to walk all the time, holding hands, no, not hands, HAND. One hand, round and round the house, over and over. She has no interest in doing it independently. She wants one of us right there. And it's usually me since I don't have to hunch way over to reach. Last night Adam was standing with her in the living room and she was going round and round in a circle. At the Mexican restaurant Saturday night, after she was finished with supper (chips, taco, rice and beans!) she wanted down and lead me right to this lady, and handed the lady her gnawed on cookie. Awkward. Then the lady told me her daughter didn't walk until she was 15 months by herself, even though was perfectly capable - she wanted someone with her, holding her hand...oh, great.

I know one day she'll be running around, not needing me for anything and it will break my heart. I'll long for the days she begged to have me hold her hand. I'm just going to try and enjoy them...

Wish Us Luck...

...Because luck is what we'll need...

Charlotte and I are headed to Columbus today to go house shopping tomorrow.

It's a 41/2 hour drive...all my sanity lies in the hopes of a nice, long nap and the teletubbies - tinky, winky & poo, well, and maybe a snack trap full of cheetos (she's just like her mommy, when cranky - offer cheetos...)

Adam is driving his truck...seperately from us. He must not believe in my plan...

Her First Few Steps

January 19, 2008 is the day that Charlotte took her first steps! This is not a girl that airs on the side of caution, however, she more sort of ran her first steps. It was five steps and was over before we even knew it and then she wanted to do it again and again but was trying to do it so fast that she couldn't keep up with herself. Her legs kept getting there ahead of her body or vice versa and she was giggling all the while.


She wanted help walking all weekend, one hand but several times she would get to moving so fast that she'd just twirl around and have to grab onto said hand-holders leg and then off she'd want to go again. I also discovered her favorite song. 'Don't stop till you get enough', Michael Jackson. She hangs onto schoolbus and buggie down to Michael. It's pretty much the cutest thing I've ever seen.





She's doing better and better with foods...I still nurse her at night but she's getting more and more to where she doesn't need me during the day (sniffle).

Last week was miserable and cold and rainy. Being here in Savannah we have to walk the dogs at least 3 times a day just to go potty...yes, even when it's raining out. So, we're all bundled up, Charlotte in her winter parka (2 sizes too big because that's all I could find) wrapped in blankets & daddy's rain jacket, in the stroller with the canopy. Here I go, getting soaking wet with no umbrella just my Parka and hoood, walking two dogs, pushing a stoller, obviously, I can't carry an umbrella. Moses, terrified of the rain and Eloise barking and bullying everyone and NOT focused on going potty. So yes, it was a huge relief when Noni & Popi came down this weekend (yay company!) and then took Moses & Eloise BACK with them! (I'll see them in a few days)

And she got to have some yummy yummy birthday cake this weekend - it was Noni's birthday! Charlotte's Noni & Popi drove down for the weekend with Jakob and Starbright! Noni & Popi helped her practicing walking (she wants to hold hands and walk all over the house) and dancing. We also went and ate at Uncle Bubba's and Charlotte got her first taste of shrimp...and really liked it! Of course, not as much as the cake:

While we're on the subject of sweets and growing up...did I mention her love of M&M's? That's how I change her diaper. She fights and squirms and wants off the change table...I tried giving her brand new, never before seen toys only for changing, please, not near enticing enough. I tried diapering her standing up but after 3 stinky diapers that exploded out the back due to poor diaper application I revised that plan. Now, I take M&M minis and give her one at a time while I change her diaper. Usually it only takes 3.

Sunday we went to Savannah's 'Ships of Maritime' Exhibit. They wouldn't allow strollers and yeah, it was as fun as it sounds. Charlotte wanted to walk around the whole place and climb into the fireplaces, pull herself up on the boat models worth probably hundreds of thousands of dollars and then she found the uncovered electrical outlets. We were exhausted by the time we left.

We drove out to Wormsloe Plantation and discovered you can't drive the whole thing you have to walk and it was FREEZING outside! So, we saw the 4oo Great Oaks and we'll save the rest for another day.

Do you remember that singing balloon Charlotte had for her birthday? Well, it still has helium in it...and it still sings, you just have to hit it in the right spot. Charlotte knows the spot. It's tied to her highchair. After she finishes a meal, or right smack in the middle of one, she'll reach up, grab that balloon, pull it down and start BANGING on it until it plays the birthday tune and she'll dance and clap...it was the cutest thing, we all got a kick out of that Saturday night...well, that and we were a fun audience for her - we'd all had a bit to drink so it was especially cute and funny...

"Rock Me Gently"

The following excerpts are taken from "rock me gently" by Heather Neal, from mothering magazine:

"As we limit dangerous behaviors, toddlers experience a loss of power, control and independence. Even gentle methods of discipline prohibit toddlers from fully satiating their curiosity about our world. The author states that "is is unfair of her to expect her toddler to be content with that, even if the limits are reasonable".

"Toddlers cannot understand adult logic, and it infuriates them. They cannot understand why giving high fives are acceptable, but slapping your face is not. They are heartbroken that water can be poured in the sink, but not on the floor. They are perplexed that knives can hurt, when they see us using them to dice veggies. Toddlers can predict responses from us for their age appropriate but undesirable behaviors, but they are still a long way from understanding the reasoning, much less internalizing the thought process".

The author questions the wisdom of trying to eliminate tantrums, as difficult as they are to see and hear. "A tantrum is an explosion of intense feelings that are frightening for a toddler to experience. They occur when the child loses the ability to regulate emotions. They are experienced more toddler is hungry, tired, or overstimulated. They do not yet have the brain connections needed to process these emotions. Toddlers need us to help them navigate painful experiences. Some of these tantrums are an attempt for the toddler to feel in control of their actions". They suggest ways to safely give the toddler a feeling of power and control.

For example:
Let them dump water outside, and help clean up the water they dumped inside.
Let them jump from an imaginary tree branch, rather than the real tree.
Offer productive roles in the family (sweeping the floor, mixing batter etc).

"Many see tantrums as a toddler trying to be manipulative, and parents are often advised to take a firm stance against such displays. The author argues that a toddler is searching for inner control, and the only discipline that should be taken is to stick with the limit that was set. Exerting power over her, withdrawing support, or punishing will only leave them feeling powerless, which will make desire for control much greater".

"Many tantrums occur when parents have expectations of the toddler that are not age appropriate. Even when our requests seem fair, toddlers might still react with a strong feeling. To ask them to deny their feelings of frustration and disappointment, is to ask them to deny their humanity. it also sends the message that we adults are unable to tolerate negative emotions."

"If we calmly handle these strong feelings, and refrain from using permissive or punitive strategies, we send a different message, that conflict with a loved one does not mean the end of the love."

The author states that she believes it is far more important to provide healthy outlets for expressing emotions, than to seclude, ignore, or punish children for having emotions. Research has found that restricting children's negative emotions may result in a child who had more explosive emotions, displays more distress, and are less emotionally competent then their peers. Parents might be able to control their children's outward displays of emotion through control, but they can't make those feelings disappear.

It goes on to say that "the traditional assumption that encouraging obedience in early years is the best way to foster long term character. In fact, rules and obedience seem to affect only behaviors... They fear the punishment so they behave. They do not really respect or understand the adult logic. It seems harsh to use punishment with a young child who has so few strategies for resolving conflict."

In summary at the end it states: "studies consistently show that even the context of discipline is critical to moral development, and indicate that parental warmth and attachment security advance the development of a conscience. Well attached children are more likely to embrace familial values. Loving and respecting a child are the most critical components of any disciplinary framework". She ends by talking about nursing her daughter in the rocking chair after a tantrum, (rather than the naughty chair) and "feeling the love flow through them."

Funny Daddy

So last night was one of the more hysterical evenings Adam and I have ever had.

Charlotte is going through this stage where she thinks pretty much everything Adam does is hilarious (huge for his ego) and she will get to laughing so hard I worry about her oxygen intake. She'll get in her armchair and bounce and laugh and we scold her for standing and bouncing in her armchair and she just laughs...Eloise will bark and it's just the funniest...

Daddy coughing? An outright laugh fest!

But what really got her last night was trying to stand by herself. She would spread her legs wide, find a focal point, push herself up, stern concentrating look on her face, arms out (like a surfer) and then she'd be up, barely breathing for fear of losing her balance. Adam and I would cheer and clap, she'd get this great big grin on her face and clap along with us and fall on her Fannie, but that's alright! Still clapping...

Then she moved on to trying to take a step. Arms flailing, just a laughing, going towards daddy (arms outstretched) and she's wobbling every which a way, laughing like it's the funniest thing in the world, trying to walk. We would help her and she'd decide to try and run instead or to bounce, on her bottom every time, just a laughing. I was afraid she'd hyperventilate.

ANY day now...

We’re still not walking…YET…but I have a suspicion that it’s only a couple of steps away! Charlotte can stand up by herself – not just let go of the sofa for a couple seconds but pick herself up off the ground and stand. She’s been practicing a lot with her Lion Push Walker PJ & Kiki got her and with her Leap Frog School bus from Noni & Popi. What I need to get her are those little shoes that squeak when they walk (http://www.weesqueak.com/) to try and help motivate her! Also, they’re just the most precious little shoes ever. We were at Forsyth on Sunday and we ran into a mommy and baby from an old play group. Her little girl was walking and had those on and it was just THE CUTEST thing ever!

Charlotte’s Gigi came down this past weekend. The weather wasn’t really beautiful until Sunday so we did some extra walking then. We went out to eat, what? 3 times I guess and Charlotte did good. At the Mexican restaurant I had to negotiate with her to behave, very empowering, I have to say, and then she did. We ordered her rice and a cheese quesadilla. She also got some Tostitos chips. Saturday morning Charlotte and I got to go for a run. There were a LOT of runners at Forsyth and I HATE being passed. So I ran too fast. I’m also use to only running 3 miles and I ran 4. I thought I was going to toss my cookies when I was FINALLY done. Those darn SCAD students. Then Carrie wanted to go for a run yesterday…4 miles… OH, while we were at the park Saturday morning running, Adam and Jeanne walked Moses & Eloise.

I tried twice to run with Moses & Eloise and push the jogging stroller. The dogs were tethered together on the leash and what ended up happening was Eloise ran full out, and Moses tried to refuse and ended up being drug around by his shoulders for a mile. I was cursing at Moses, telling him to pick up his feet, he could do it and then realized what a lunatic I must have looked like I stopped and we walked but I was so annoyed…

So, Charlotte had a ball with her Gigi. We went out to breakfast at Clary’s Saturday morning and Charlotte was content playing with spoons and jellies and she ate her slice of cheese. She didn’t want much to do with our veggie omelet or Adam’s stuffed French toast.

Charlotte LOVES going out on the porch and she LOVES climbing into things – she wants to be “IN” everything. She played “IN” her toy box all last week. She also wants to climb up and down, up and down the sofa. She wants to go in and out of the kitchen cabinets – pull everything out, dump everything out of it’s box, and then she shoves everything back in.

Two nights ago we were sitting on the sofa, Charlotte had just finished nursing and Adam and I swear she said, ‘Aw Dang’. It was insanely funny at the time…I think we were in the middle of discussing an ‘aw dang’ type situation.

There is a possibility that Charlotte is having her first spend-the-night party. Adam has to go out of town for a night (because I’m typing this, sure enough it will get cancelled) and if he does Charlotte’s friend, Allison and her mommy, Carrie, are going to come over and spend the night! Allison gave Charlotte her first nickname, ‘Charlie’ (well, in fairness, Popi calls Charlotte that too but it’s cuter saying it came from her little friend). We’re trying to teach the girls how to share…Oh, we managed with the schoolbus!

Moses & Eloise are really starting to come around with Charlotte. She’s still sleeping right now and both doggies and snuggled right up next to her. She just woke up…I bet she pulls Ellie’s ear…


...now she's using Moses for a pillow...awe...

Charlotte is one year old!

Charlotte turned one year old on December 22, 2007. Noni was here days before to help get ready for the party and to get me and Charlotte well and over our hospital stay. There was a lot to do.

The night before the party, the Riggle family and Gigi came down. That was fun! Charlotte was tickled to get to spend time with her cousin, Violet.

Saturday morning Adam took off to pick up the cake, balloons, food, spirits, flowers and balloons. We were left here to decorate.

Charlotte wore polka dots and a tutu. Lots and lots of pink and girlie goodness.

Charlotte was operating at about 70% - her pedi told us it might take her a week to get over her virus but that we could go along with the party...but her little friend, Allison, wouldn't be able to come...Charlotte wasn't still contagious, but her toys were...

Charlotte fell asleep a couple of times (very briefly) right before the party started and was pretty tired when she sat down to eat her cake. But she dove right in - not as enthusiastically as she would have, I think, had she been feeling her normal self but she enjoyed it. When she was cleaned up, she barely made it out of her highchair before she fell asleep.

Her guests had to wait 2 hours for her to wake-up to see her open her presents. There were a whole lot of presents, luckily, she had Violet there to help her open them all, and to show her how to play with them.

Happy Birthday Charlotte Rose!

Equestrienne Rising

Since Charlotte was born...I've had big dreams. One of which was that she would grow up and fall in love with horses and we could get her a pony and dress her in paddock boots and jodphers, give her a little crop, go to horse shows, cheer her on and on and on we go, maybe she even goes to the Olympics in 2026.

Well, we're off to a good start.

The first time she saw a horse was when we were here in Savannah, and she got so tickled! Well, now that we're living in Savannah, she sees horses all the time, the pull the carriages. We're on a first name basis with a handful of them...

...oh and when we went on a carriage ride for the first time, she was thrilled to sit in her Noni's lap and watch "Bob" the Belgium pull us around town.

And then...for Christmas...from her PJ and Kiki she got her very first pony, a thoroughbred named "Flicka". He has his own tack even, custom-made. Kiki pointed out this way she'll know the parts of the tack before she gets on a pony for the first time.

She LOVES Flicka. She wants to go on a ride every morning, and every evening, and usually a couple of times in between. Her dismount is stellar and she's been riding without stirrups, trying to strengthen those calves, I can only assume. For her birthday, she also got a bounce & spin zebra, and she likes to ride him as well...and then there's her daddy's shoulders...there's the laundry basket she flips over and tries to ride. She also likes to ride her polar bear, her school bus, her lion, her mommy and her daddy. There have been several nights, early mornings, where she'll climb onto her mommy (whose sleeping soundly on her side) decide to go for a ride.

I'm telling you! We have an equestienne in the making!

Fun Ruiner #1

So now it starts getting tricky. Rules. I know Charlotte's ready for them because she's looking for boundaries. And buddy, we're giving them to her. Yay us, right?

My baby bible, 'Touchpoints' by Brazelton, stresses not to say "no" ALL THE TIME. Only say "no" to the important, big deal, baby-is-about-to-get-hurt things, that way they'll know when you say "no" it's a boundary and mommy/daddy know best but you can go, Charlotte, and do that other mischievous thing of yours, open up the bottom drawer of you dresser and pull out all the clothes..not the middle drawer or the top drawer. It's alright, Charlotte, you can go, dear, and pull yourself up by Moses halter, but not his ears.

So, when she starts to do a "no-no" I warn her twice, re-direct her and if she does it a third time (RARELY happens but buddy she'll stare at me hard and REALLY think about it and then she proceeds to do the acceptable thing but acts as if that's what she wanted to do anyway all along(whoops tangent)) I put her in time out for 20 seconds. Time out is in her playpen.

But when is it a 'no no' and when is it okay? That's tricky. Several weeks ago we were at Homegoods and she stood up and dove towards a giant polar bear in the kid section while I was scouting out a good deal...you know what makes that even worse is that I bought the bear. Then at Wal-Mart and she started pulling herself up in the seat of her buggy AGAIN so I put her in the big, grocery part of the buggy and she was perfectly happy, sitting down, waving, playing with the groceries. Thus it begins.

Now, this is where she rides. Except she's gone from sitting down to standing up. Kind of reminds me from that scene in Teen Wolf where Michael J. Fox is surfing on top of his van going down the street to the beach boys song, ''Surfing USA'. Looks a little dangerous but I don't want to be a fun ruiner. Well, we're at Toys R Us as a family on Sunday and I'm nagging Adam to stand at the front of the bugggy with Charlotte as she's surfing down the aisle and he's telling me to chill out when I notice, for the first time (because Charlotte's rear end is normally sitting on it, the seat of the buggy where the rules are posted. Clear as day, a circle around the acceptable way of traveling in the buggy (child sitting, buckled, in the front of the buggy) and then the unacceptable way of cruising, every other way, including the method in which my child was currently cruising.

Parenting is hard. Just when you think you can relax and rely on common sense, something like this happens.

My common sense was trying to warm me though...every time she was cruising in the buggy (unacceptably) the Teen Wolf surfing scene popped into my head?

So, we've got disciplining at home but out in public? Oh God, I'm so not ready for this!

A little catch up...

Oh, it's fun to be one! Charlotte Rose turned one year old on December 22, 2007. Her first year was thrilling, lovely, exhausting, joyful, chaotic, confusing, overwhelming. Nothing grows you up like having a baby. Adam & I have been talking lately about how we don't even feel like the same people that we were 13 months ago...going into parenthood. I LOVE being a mommy - it's so rewarding...and so challenging...

My mom came and spent three weeks with us after Charlotte was born. When she left, it hit us - we're down here, in south georgia, just Adam & I, alone with a baby - are we going to make it?

It's hard not having family right around the corner, I know for them and for us. So I started typing up a weekly "dose" of Charlotte Rose, with pictures and news from the week before. It became almost a journal entry for me. So, I've decided to keep it up, just instead of doing it once a week in an email format. I'll type little notes here and there when I have the time. Friends & Family - ya'll just check in when you feel like you need a dose of Charlotte Rose.

So I'll start with hitting the major events, to sort of re-cap and get ya'll caught up:

We had a rough go of it for a while. Right after we got moved into our new place here in historic Savannah Charlotte came down Roseola. She had, what we thought, was an upper-respiratory infection, then she had a really high fever and then she broke out in a rash all over her body. It was terrible. And then I made the first-time novice mom mistake and just 5 days after she was considered "recovered" by her pedi I hauled her to softplay at the mall, one of her little friend's going away party. Softplay, otherwise known as a germ cesspool. Her immunity was down!!! She had been fighting Roseola and then I take her to a germ cesspool! So, the following day she started throwing up. Within 8 hours she had thrown up 20 times. I had been talking to on-call Nurse 1 - at 1am it had been 8 hours since her last wet diaper and she was crying, but no tears where streaming. So, they told us to take her into the ER. We rushed to the car and to the hospital.

I've endured a lot in my life. Nothing has been as bad as having to stand by while your baby suffers. She had to be catherized, they drew blood and started an IV. I had to help hold her down. It was heart-wrenching...Adam was crying in the corner...And then I couldn't nurse her, all she wanted was her mommy and I couldn't even give her that. She took her first bottle that night. After several hours of not vomitting, they gave her a little bottle of pedialite...and she took it. I was telling everyone, 'look, her first bottle, she's drinking it!' One nurse looked at me, wide eyed, and said, 'what? she doesn't have any teeth yet?' Oh yes, she has 9, one's a mollar...am I a saint, or what?

It was hard. Luckily, Noni & Popi arrived first thing...and Noni said she'd stay and help for several days. Bless her heart, now she is a saint...

Adam was wonderful, a trouper, there for his girls, and his dogs. Amazingly, he didn't get sick. I did, pretty early on, while we were still in the hospital. Our second night there, Noni laid down with Charlotte and Adam took me down to the ER. It's part of nursing, I guess, I got dehydrated and had to get fluids. Having a sick baby, and moving is hard, my parents had been on me about not eating enough, Adam had been on me about not taking enough time for myself. When they weighed me at the hospital, I was a good 20lbs under my pre-pregnancy weight. Whew, wake up call. Not to worry, Lisa came for Christmas with our traditional Christmas cookies...I put 10 pounds back on in no time...

Charlotte was released and we got to go home and her spirits lifted almost immediately> It still took her a while to get over her virus, her pedi said to go ahead with her party...

Okay...we've moved, we've been sick...we've got guests coming into town for Charlotte's birthday AND we've got Christmas right around the corner. I thought my head was going to explode with everything that needed to be done.

I'll save the Birthday Party for the next post...