Birthday Present

Adam got his birthday gift this morning. Well, wait, let me slow down a bit...

I kept waking up this morning. I'd look over (glasses off) at Adam's side of the bed to see if he was still sleeping. It looked like he was laying pretty flat on his stomach, still asleep. I woke up again and again and judged whether or not I should rise by whether or not he was. Well, finally, I thought, okay, enough is enough, I need some coffee. I put on my glasses, glanced at the clock - 9:35am (whoa) and then over to Adam's side of the bed again, this time glasses on. It wasn't Adam I had been seeing all morning, sleeping on his stomach, but his pile of pj's. Whoops. Where is Adam?

Adam was almost finished power-washing the back patio. He woke up, cut the grass, edged and blowed (blowed?) blew (blew?) and started power-washing. Super daddy!

Charty looked out the back door discovered daddy was home, and took off for her room, returned moments later with squeaky shoes, needs help, mom, so she can go out and play with daddy. Of course I had to keep her in for a bit because power washing is dangerous.

I am really enjoying working in the yard. It's funny how since becoming a mom I have no interest anymore in shopping and doing girly things (what? like having my hair styled, buying shoes, nails done, you know, what most women consider basic grooming) and I love working out in the yard, planting and watering and feeding the birds and we now have a hummingbird feeder and it is GREAT! I am watching the hummingbird right now. He also likes the hibiscus and the mexican petunias. I can't get the finches to eat the thistle. We have butterflies on the butterfly bushes and Adam and I want to build/buy a bat house! How weird, right? I've come, say, full circle?

So, after all our morning chores we headed for uptown Columbus so Adam could pick out his birthday present, there's a bike shop, Ride On, where we got my bike and Charty's seat. Charlotte went wide open and nearly knocked down 30 bikes and kept climbing up on the tricycles and was just wild and I was exhausted after 5 minutes. She didn't want to leave and when I picked her up to go (after had to be AT LEAST 20 minutes, maybe 30) she screamed at the top of her lungs (which she has started doing lately) and it is INCREDIBLY MORTIFYINGLY embarrassing and Adam and I look at each other like what am I suppose to do?!?! huh...no idea. Then she ran full speed down the sidewalk, stopping only to look at dogs and her reflection in windows and to sit on EVERY bench, rocking chair, stoop, whatever, she saw. Charlotte doesn't walk anywhere anymore...she runs. I asked Adam what he thought about one of those child leashes. He wasn't amused.

So, yay! now we all have bikes eventhough Adam had to get a little tutorial on how to use his (what those gear can be tricky!) and when he asked if they would put a more comfortable saddle on his they kindly suggested he tough it out. (sorry Adam, too funny not to include, right?) And I'm hoping we can go bike riding at Callaway Gardens soon.

Babysitters are AMAZING

It's amazing how quickly our house can go from organized, clutter-free and clean to a total WRECK! It seems to be entirely connected to what time Charty goes down for a nap. She loves to run through the house, opening doors and cabinets and pulling everything out. I'm cleaning up the unrolled paper towels and she's throwing everything out of the guest bathroom under-sink cabinets so that she can climb in and hide. And you should see her room...and my room...

We had a play date today, last minute, not here, at her friends house. Yes. Super, I didn't have to run around frantically cleaning as Charlotte un-did it all.

Adam's birthday was Sunday, we had a party Saturday and it was fun! A nice mix of work and family with a couple of "just" friends thrown in for good measure. Amber was totally looking out for my well-being and sanity and brought along two highly-qualified baby-sitters (and family, family first!) and WOW! babysitters are AMAZING! I've got to find me one of those for use on a regular basis. I didn't even have to worry about Charlotte. She was having fun and taken care of.

Charlotte still has a rash. The strangest thing. We found a new pediatrician. She is WONDERFUL!!! Dr. Lorio Palmas, highly recommended by a friend and I LOVE HER. SHE is the pediatrician we have been searching for. As soon as she met Charlotte she got down on the floor with her to play. She spent an hour with us, discussing this bizarre-o rash and when we left Charty gave her kisses and big hugs. The nurses are great, the office staff is great. Charlotte went to the doctor's office...and ENJOYED it. We're going to keep an activity/food journal. She said to let her play, go outside! YAY!

I'll try and not let her get too hot but it's good for her to be outside. So, we went for a run together last night - and man, it is way easier to run WITHOUT pushing the stoller (hills) but we enjoyed it. When we were finished we went walking, looking for cats. There was a cat at our play date this morning. Poor cat. Charty found him and chased him all over the house, onto the sofa, under the bed. Whenever she caught him she'd try and pick him up, carry him with her.

Play your heart

And we're back....

...to Charlotte's happy sweet self again.

Our last visit to the dermatologist went well. She decided that it was a viral infection. It's finally starting to clear up. She still has random spots of the rash, and it's on the palms of her hands and the soles of her feet (doctor said think of it as working it's way "out") which totally made me think of those sole stickers they sell at the drug store and on info-mercials were you stick that sticky on the bottom of you feet and go to sleep and when you wake up and pull them off they're all nasty with all the toxins you released from your sleep, some Chinese cleansing something. I mean, she still has bumps and especially if I get her out in the heat. We were shopping yesterday and I could see the spots creeping back up under her armpit.


We went and saw John & Katy last week and had so much fun! We were at the mall and Charlotte started trying to say 'Katy' - it came out more of a 'taty'. The past couple of days Charlotte will sit in the armchair and watch the digital picture frame. There are pictures of Katy that cycle through. Charlotte will sit and watch the frame and when Katy comes on she points and says 'taty! taty!'


It rained a bunch this weekend. Charlotte loves to play in the rain. Yesterday evening it had finally stopped. We were all outside in the front. Adam was working in the carport and I was playing with Charlotte in the side yard, standing under the giant crepe myrtle. I couldn't resist. I jumped up and grabbed a branch, shook it and made water rain down, along with tiny white flower petals so it looked like a mixture of rain and snow. Charlotte gasped and looked up and closed her eyes. She held out her arms and squealed. She lit up with joy, and I felt the same way just from watching her.


Charty likes to be chased and tickled. She holds up her arms like a monster and says 'rar'. She loves it when Adam hides and jumps out and scares her.


Charlotte took her first shower last week. She escaped outside with Eloise while I was vacuuming the kitchen. She was still in her pj's. Next thing I know, she's in her pool, stomping around, diaper filling up. I pull her out of her bottoms and top, then I fling off the diaper (as it's nearly to exploding capacity) and she runs up the slide (it's set up to slide into the pool) and VROOOOM! Down she zips, fast as lightning. She landed not on her feet as usual but flat on her back, that's how quickly she zipped. Then she lay there, looking up at the sky and said, 'mama?' When she came in she had dirt all up her legs so I put her into the shower off the kitchen, thinking it'd be easy to just rinse her legs off. Oh no, she loved it! She wanted to stay in all day.




I think I'm starting to figure out this mothering thing. It's taken me 18 months. You read all the books, listen to everybody talk, ask the doctors, ask your parents & grandparents and friends but when it comes down to it playing your heart is what really matters, not perfection. Playing your heart is what you're after, when it's easy and especially when it feels impossible. Playing your heart when it's breaking and soaring, and hardest of all, I know, when it's both at the same time. It doesn't matter what everybody else says, or what they think, what the experts tell us, just play your heart.

Independence

Charlotte's rash is almost gone. How fantastic is that?!? It's amazing what the right dose of medicine can do. The secret to giving a toddler medicine? Stick the dropper in her cheek and blow in her face. Of course, I'm also off the pill (Adam swears she had a medicinal rash to my BCP), and if it was a viral infection then it took every bit of 3 weeks to run it's course which is what the doctor said. So, who knows? I'm just glad it's clearing up and on it's way out.

Chris & Aubrey came and if they were bored out of their minds they were sweet about it. I was bordering on irritable as living with an itchy & bored Charlotte was pushing me to my limits and I could be heard repeatedly uttering the phrase, 'I'm about to lose my mind'. Darla the yorkie came along with Chris & Aubrey and Darla is quite possibly the funnest dog Charty knows. Darla is a year old and tiny and not in the least bit afraid of Charlotte...nor does she really realize that Charlotte is a 'big deal' as my dogs and Noni & Popi's dog realize hence, they are to be on their BEST behavior (= boring) whenever Charlotte is present. No, Darla knows no such rules thus she is a fluff of fun. Charty learned at 18 months what all girls learn at some point in young life...the squeal. Running around, laughing, chasing Darla squealing in a pitch that was probably registering with hounds within a 5 mile radius. Luckily, my nerves were the only ones shot, so I was the only one about to lose my mind, everyone else thought it was so cute.

Aubrey was fun and danced with Charlotte and read her stories and everyone helped her make BOOMS (stacking and bulldozing blocks). Chris was nice and smiled and kept at a safe distance so Charlotte & he were friends by the time they left and waved bye-bye and blew kisses.

We went walking a couple of times this weekend, in the evening, when it was cool. Charlotte walked all over the neighborhood, we were amazed (that the sandals she was wearing that Katy picked out that I insisted would give her blisters did not give her blisters). We usually bring along a stroller or the wagon for when she gets tired. Moses & Eloise come mostly. A couple of nights ago I stuck Mo Ellie in the stroller and they had a big time. Then Charty wanted in with them so there they all 3 were, snuggled up, taking in the sights, scoping out kitty cats together. Charlotte needs a sister.

Last night when it was time for night-night, as usual, Adam kissed his girls goodnight, turned out his light and 20 seconds later was sound asleep. Charlotte wasn't quite ready to go to sleep so she found glo-worm and gave her a squeeze. Then watched as glo-worm came to life, face glowing, humming a lullabye. Charty stares at her real intently and then always give glo-worm kisses when she lights up. Not mild ones either, I mean, lip-smacking kisses. Then she'll give me kisses and say 'mama', in the sweetest voice ever uttered on this earth.

There are plenty of times when I worry about whether or not we've made the right choices with Charlotte. Especially the sleeping, the night-time routine. But I can't imagine not having done it this way. If we hadn't brought her to sleep with us when she was 6 weeks old then we would have done it at 6 months, or a year, or whenever she had a tough day and needed extra snuggling. And I love this time, I cherish it. It will be gone so fast and she won't want to snuggle up with mommy & daddy. She plays with glo-worm (quietly - she knows the rule), they sing and dance and kiss and hug. Actually, she saves her BIG HUGS for Bo-Bo the frog (she'll give him hug, help him sign more and then give him another one). Then she goes to check on daddy to see if he's still asleep, because if he's not, she's going climbing, but he is, and she knows not to wake him. She'll say 'mama' and curl herself up next to me, takes my arm and puts it across her belly (or puts her foot in my hand, wanting me to give it a good rub). After she falls asleep I roll around and flip on a dim light and pull out my book (currently Middlesex by Eugenides and it has taken me 300+ pages to get to the good part which makes the good part all the more better). Could life be any more wonderful? Well...I guess if I had a maid...

As a child I brought all of my stuffed animals to bed with me so that no one's feelings would be hurt. I didn't crate train Moses as a puppy as I was instructed, as soon as he whined, I plopped him into bed with me. Adam slept with Magnus (GREAT DANE) and holds Moses when it thunders out). It was written in the stars that our baby would sleep with us, because Adam is just like me. Dare I say it? We're sensitive. So though I second-guess myself all the time...I feel good about our decision. It's what works for us, it's what makes us happy.

Yesterday stormed. Charlotte watched it from the front porch, clapping, because I can only assume that's what the rain sounded like. And proudly waved her American flags. Finally, Eloise couldn't stand it anymore, she had to go potty. Opened up the back door and out she crept, rain and all. I turn my back, there goes Charlotte, after "Eyie". Oh, rain! She loves the rain. By the time I realized she was outside, she was soaked. So, why not let her enjoy herself? And enjoy herself she did.

This glamorous life

Life always seems more glamorous when you’re writing about it as opposed to living it. Maybe I’ll feel better at the end of this post…

Charlotte saw the dermatologist again yesterday. She has retracted her initial diagnosis and has offered up a new one. Originally, Charty was diagnosed with eczema. And it did look like eczema but it didn’t make sense that she’d have it. From our research it runs in families, is common among children who also suffer from allergies, asthma, hay fever, etc. and she doesn’t have any of that. It’s also more common among babies that aren’t nursed past 6 months...HELLO?

Now the dermatologist is thinking that it is something viral - that maybe she picked it up from her gymnastics class...She's upped her dosage of steroids and we're trying a stronger topical. She's not allowed to be around other kids, she still can't play outside, she has to be kept cool and calm inside. One look at Charlotte yesterday and the doctor said, 'she's not taking her medicine'. Well, no, but it's not for lack of trying. She simply holds it in her mouth and spits it out. They say not to give babies medicine laying down, they need to be sitting up so that they don't choke. But it's just not working. We've tried mixing it in sprite, grape fanta, coke, ice cream and it's all no go. If it's not better by next Wednesday the doctor wants to biopsy it. We certainly don't want to have to do that if there is any way possible we can help it. It will be so traumatic for her. Charlotte really likes baby Tylenol. When she find a bottle (sounds weird, I keep a couple things like that under her bathroom sink in a basket) she'll bring it to me and ask me to open it. We're going to have the pharmacist flavor her meds with cherry and then I'll put a dose in a cleaned out Tylenol bottle and try giving it to her that way. I'm not hopeful but I swear...if this doesn't work, I'll have to hold her down and force it...or Adam will...I DON'T WANT HER TO CHOKE!!! Oh jeez...being a parent is SO HARD! The decisions...

Oh the dilemma the struggle the turmoil. Will this skin rash never end?!?!?!

So that's been the past week. Me worried sick over the state of her skin, Charlotte bored and cranky and itchy and Adam working, taking my frantic calls no matter what meeting he's in the middle of or who he is in the middle of fussing at.

I felt really guilty for Charlotte last week so we did some retail therapy. I let her run around, explore, play and select toys at Toys R Us. Of course, what she wanted was the tricycle which isn't exactly an indoor-friendly toy. She did get a basketball goal though, for inside (guilt). What we need is a mini trampoline...

I asked Charlotte last night where Eloise's belly button was. She looked at me, looked at Eloise (poor Eloise, completely oblivious), looked back at me, said, huh and shrugged her shoulders. Then she ran over to Eloise, plopped down on her belly and tried crawling up under Eloise to find it.

Moses likes to lay in a basket of blankets on one end of Charlotte's bed. Charlotte likes to stock pile her stuffed animals into her bed then she stands up, carries one over to Moses's end (where he is laying on the other side of the tall rail) and drops them...right on his head. Poor Moses. He'll look at me, where I can't help but laugh and gives me (what I imagine to be) an Eeyore...thanks for noticing...

Charlotte got an Elmo potty. She sits on it, and when she does Elmo talks which would totally make me uncomfortable but Charty seems to like it. She just sits there and then goes to get toilet paper and crams it between her legs (well, that's something). When I change her diaper I'll sit her on it. A couple mornings ago I got her up and changed her diaper and sat her on Elmo. She looked at me, jumped up and peed right on the bathroom floor. I said uh-oh and plopped her back on Elmo and said, tee tee on elmo potty. She jumped up and ran into her room and finished tee-teeing on the rug.

We will be indoors for the 4th of July. They shoot fireworks here on the hoooch, not at the park, boo. We will be bored to death. Chris & Aubrey are coming to stay with us this weekend so they will be bored to death as well, but actually, that should make mine & Adam's weekend a bit more fun. Remember...Charlotte can't be outside and she can't be around a bunch of people. All I have to look forward to is the red, white & blue trifle I'm making (cool whip, blueberries, strawberries). I am proud to be an American and I am thankful of our independence and suddenly I feel a bit spoiled and self-involved.

Will someone please drink a vodka tonic for me, oh, and lay in the sun, be completely self-indulgent...Katy in Aruba...

Last Sunday Adam was home and I got to go to the library and the grocery store all by myself and what a nice treat! I felt so...RELAXED. Then later that evening Adam took Charlotte for a bike ride and I got to go on a nice long run alone and the weather was great and I had a super playlist on.

And Charlotte will be alright.

And life is good.

Happy 4th of July.