I want to cuss

I want to cuss, but I know that would be offensive but I don't think I'll feel better until I do.

$&%+!!!!!!!

We saw the pediatric allergist this morning. We arrived and found out we were scheduled for allergy testing. No, no, no, this is just suppose to be a consultation, the dermatologist told me yesterday she didn't even understand why we were still going to see an allergist. It wasn't an allergy. And all morning I've been telling Charty no poking, just talking.

Charlotte's pediatrician completely disagreed with the pathology report, and the allergist completely agrees with her. A biopsy is not diagnostic. A pathologist makes an educated guess as to what the skin sample looks like. The BIGGEST thing about granuloma annulare is that it DOES NOT ITCH and it usually consists of 3-4 skin-colored bumps, not 500 red bumps. Well, obviously, Charlotte's is red and itchy and all over her body. I'm starting to believe maybe we've got a misdiagnosis. I've also got three different doctors wanting to treat the rash three different ways.

Charlotte was hysterical. The allergist kept telling me it didn't bother him, which seemed odd, how can a screaming child not affect you? How can you continue to smile and carry on? While a baby is in your presence terrified? He wanted to do the allergy testing. He said, she's already upset, we'll hold her down and scratch her 25-30 times. No, we're not ready to do that. And then he talks to us like we're idiots. Our daughter had a biopsy a week ago. She still has the stitches. That told us nothing. We will only subject her to more trauma if we're fairly certain that it will tell us something conclusive. The allergist did make a call and get us into see a dermatologist for a second opionion. That physician has the clout to get us into a pediatric dermatologist at Emory.

And then I came home, loved on Charlotte, played, laid her down for a nap and jumped on the computer. La Leche League has some wonderful resources. I sit down with my afternoon cup of coffe and peanut butter coffee cake. I'm researching, reading and it hits me. Peanut butter. I have eaten peanut butter every day, at least twice a day since Charlotte was born. An EARLY introduction to a highly allergic food. Memorial Day weekend was when we first noticed the rash. We were at Noni & Popi's and Popi had made boiled peanuts. Charty DEVOURED them. Her rash was looking better the past several days. Yesterday she had 2 reese cups, peanuts from on top of Adam's ice cream cone and she nursed mommy who had had plenty of peanut butter herself. The rash was really bad last night and this morning. This mornign was the first morning in possibly a year I didn't have pb coffee cake (I was all out) but I baked one. I will not eat it. She has very little appetite. Her appetite has decreased dramatically since the rash. Could it be because sometimes when she eats her throat hurts, or feels scratchy? So, she doesnt' want to eat anything?

Oh my god, it makes perfect sense. Could this be it?